More eggs from the holy rabbits ass

Today is the holiest of holies. This is the day that dead Jesus rose from the dead to fist fight the devil and hand out chocolate to all the children who have eaten their eggs. People don’t realize why eggs are so important for this holiday. The significance goes far beyond arts and crafts. Back in Roman times, the egg symbolized breakfast and Roman children believed they were eating the souls of their enemies and stealing power from the chicken god. After Christianity was introduced to the Roman Empire, the Pope pronounced that the egg symbolized breakfast and by consuming eggs, they were eating the souls of unborn angels.

Here is a poem my mother made me memorize so I would never forget.

Would you like to know a secret?
Well, I’ll tell you one I know:
The Jesus Christ is coming,
My mama told me so.

He’ll bring a basket filled with eggs
And leave it in my yard,
And I will find it Easter morn,
If I look very hard.

I shouldn’t tell my secret,
But I think it should be shared.
You ought to know that Christ is coming,
So you can be prepared!

Chocolate was introduced later because people believed Jesus must have dug Chocolate because it’s so good. So when you are stuffing your face with delicious, chocolate eggs this morning, remember they are really the souls of angels and you are doing it because violent imperialists tortured a religious fanatic to death thousands of years ago.

Happy Easter!

-Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c

Photos courtesy of http://creepybunny.tumblr.com & http://workshoperotica.tumblr.com

Dubbed “The King of The Uncanny,” Gregor Schneider is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest artists alive. His installations subvert our sense of the familiar, leading to a psychic space where he runs around like Leatherface all over our trust.

At the age of 16, he began by renovating his parents house over and over again; a labyrinth of stairways to no-where, 70′s horror film-esque basements, and rooms that mirror each other down to the finest detail (a displaced hair on a bar of soap.) By disturbing the domestic, he subtly screws the sense of ourselves. To add to the unease, he never stops the renovations – each time you go back something has changed grandly or just enough to cause an unsettling pause.

Things got so weird, that at age 16, his parents moved out and left him in the family home (located in Rheydt, Germany) to refine his craft. Today Schneider has taken his Hitchcock meets Hooper aesthetic to large scale projects.  Through duplicating adjacent flats in London, constructing enormous black cubes to replace mosques, and a large scale reproduction of the inmate yard at Guantanamo as a spa – he’s taken the personal security expected in ones home or society, messing with how we perceive ourselves in relation to these “institutions” of home, belief, and function.

Gregor Schneider paces the isles of Home Depot thinking up ways of keeping us all on edge by using materials as simple as plaster, nails, and duct tape; all of which evoke the sensations tied to the ritualistic horror found in Al Qaeda beheading videos.

- El Chacal -(Swellco & Swellco 33259c)
Los Angeles