I’ve had a long time fascination with Taxidermy Artist Beth Beverly. She’s been a regular performer with us, (Beth has done some very strange burlesque and is an accomplished aerialist). But what has really drawn me to her is her fascination with Taxidermy.  When we first met, she had only been playing with dead animals for a little while. We filmed a video short interview with her (bellow) right before she set off to go to official taxidermy school. We decided to follow her progress. Beth started a journal blog and we were to regularly repost her entries.

But we discovered something abut Miss Beverly. Like many brilliant people, she moves FAST. So fast that our reposts became hopelessly out of date and behind her progress. Within the 11 months Beth has gone from curious student to being an accomplished award winning Taxidermy Artist. (In December Beth won “Best in Show” at the Carnivorous Nights Taxidermy Contest in NYC. ) She has already solidified a niche for herself with her taxidermy fashion accessories. Her hats, hairpins & brooches are absolutely surreal. I mean, she struts some serious Fellini action here.

If you haven’t been to her site yet, check it out. I have a feeling we will be hearing a lot more from the vivacious Miss Beverly.

-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Photos courtesy of diamondtoothtaxidermy.com

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

Feel like your life is coming up short? You did everything they told you and you are still a disappointment.

At the Video Circus there is no shame. Once you have consciously and subconsciously embraced the subversive subliminal video process, you join a group that does not join groups, you enter a world that does not have limitations because in the Video Circus, nothing is real. Concepts like humility, morality, civility and reality simply do not apply. Here we are all whores. Here we are all carnivores. Here everyone is a martyr, a bully, a coward and a king. We are gluttonous and feast on the milk and breads of virgin angels. Our Circus never ends.

You know it’s time and you know you have nothing to loose. A soul carries no currency if it’s already damned.

I finished mounting my squirrel today, here is the skin stretched over the form, sewn shut, but not tucked and pinned in the face.

I think the blow-drying is one of my favorite parts.  I imagine clipping barrettes and bows on furry heads and tails.  Unfortunately my skin had some oily spots…possibly the grease had transferred from the inside to the outside via the many beebee holes in the pelt.  This will be remedied later after the mount has dried.

When I finished the mount, I placed him hanging in dead pose.  I took particular care when pinning the eyes to give it that “deathly downward gaze” appearance.

A guest taxidermist was in the shop today, skinning a porcupine.  Amazingly, he didn’t prick himself once.  I had the bright idea of using a porcupine pelt as a bike helmet cover, and as usual was greeted with blank stares when I voiced this thought.

When Porcupine Guy learned about my penchant for wasting no part of the animal, he gave me a tooth from his specimen.  I was amazed to see how much marrow is stored inside those fangs.

I began skinning my fox, which had been shot by my classmate’s husband and generously gifted to me. I spent about twenty minutes combing briers out of the fur with a metal comb before I could begin.

For lunch, Mr. B treated us to lunch at the local diner.  He said we absolutely had to try the burger; it was an experience. When our meals arrived, I damn near crapped my pants.  The patty was the diameter of the plate, with a regular sized bun sitting atop it, looking like some kind of joke.  Unfortunately I didn’t have my camera at the diner, but I took a picture of my leftovers.   This is the half of the burger I didn’t eat.

After lunch we got a brief tour of the area, and Mr. B showed us around his property.  There was a duck pond, a skating pond, barns, tractors, a horse corral, a chicken coup, and acres of woods and fields.  I was a little overwhelmed.  Country life is so different.  It seems just as busy and crowded as city life but in a more autonomous way.

Back at the shop, I finished skinning my fox. The stench of a fox is mind-blowing.  Their diet consists mostly of skunk,  and the odor they emit can best be described as a combination of halitosis and burnt rubber.  I think I lost a little of my tough chick street cred with everyone when I started gagging.

I’ve always marveled over the colors found inside a skin and assumed it was bruising.  Apparently this greenish hue is actually oxidization on the pelt, which is one of the reasons taxidermists must work quickly.  Taking too much time to skin a specimen allows bacteria to set in, and then once you get the rot, you’ve got a spook.

We tossed the carcasses outside because they were so stinky.  Because the cold, they will remain undetected by other creatures until they can be properly disposed of.  I took it upon myself to saw the heads off, which had Mr. B in fits.

guess I gained my street cred back.  It may seem disturbing, but I have a plan for these heads…

-Beth Beverly
Swellco & Swellco 21474b

Swellco2000.com’s own lovable Uncle Wheat Toast (Swellco & Swellco 54239c) claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Swellco & Swellco thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

And your little monkey too.

DEAR UNCLE TOAST:
A few months ago, I met the gynecologist of my dreams and was lucky enough to be examined by him. “Dr. Mike” is intelligent, caring, loving, witty, romantic and a great doctor. Every exam he tells me he loves me and that I’m beautiful. So what’s the problem? Dr. Mike weighs 80 pounds more than he did when I first became his patient. I thank God for him every single day, but the stirrups feel cold. Don’t get me wrong. The pap-smears come back normal, but I hate his huge ass and the dead monkey he displays in a jar next to the examination table.  I worry about how his disgusting monstrous fat ass might be affecting my children, and I contemplate cutting him with a knife. Also last week, I accidentally ate a moldy piece of bread, that is the hardest thing for me to deal with. Am I being petty when I tell you I’d give anything to burn him alive along with that dead monkey?
- NOT READY FOR CHILDREN

DEAR NOT READY FOR CHILDREN,
In the 1950s, “success” for girls was defined as marrying early and drinking Vodka. Since then, more women have jobs and careers, and tend to fixate on dead monkeys. You need to be very concerned about the moldy bread. Satan may be growing an evil mold garden in your guts that will spawn flesh devouring maggots. Also, go where like-minded people gather: graduate school, special-interest clubs, volunteer organizations, square dancing, church or a political-action group. Now I leave you with a gratuitous booty dance
-Uncle Wheat Toast Swellco & Swellco 54239c

Need advice about your baby’s momma? Trying to figure out what that growth is?
Submit a question by email uncletoast @ swellco2000.com
or call the Uncle Wheat Toast Help-Line (571) 31-TOAST /86278

I got into an interesting conversation about art last night with an artist friend whom I used to date for a while. He said the only way to be a real player in the art world was to be a trust fund baby, or single and gay. I don’t know if that’s true. When we were dating, he was alway too drunk to get it up, and he was afraid of menstruation blood, so his credibility is already shot with me. I don’t know if Damien Hirst is a trust fund baby, or gay, but he’s rich. (You probably know about the $100,000,000 diamond-bedazzled skull he’s most famous for making.) Most artists hate him because he doesn’t actually make most of his art; instead, he just comes up with the ideas and pays people to make them. But, hey, if I could afford a $100,000,000 bedazzled skull, I wouldn’t work either. I’ll tell you what: if a guy gave me a $100,000,000 bedazzled skull, I would wear that skull around my neck. The ultimate bling. Maybe I’d have it made into a ring. No, I wouldn’t be able to lift my hand, but if I had a $100,000,000 bedazzled skull ring, I wouldn’t have to lift my hand, now would I? I wonder if Damien Hirst is gay. If not, I wonder if he’s single.

-Annette Garcia

Swellco & Swellco 54823a

Yesterday I finished my fox mount.  Here he is, face still unset.  My classmate’s mount is in the background.  You can see the carded ears, which keep them from moving while it dries.  I’ll take more pictures this week.

Today we began working on our coyote rugs, using hides purchased from a distributor already fleshed and tanned.  My fellow student also brought in a huge skin from an Alberta Buck her friend had gifted her, and I helped her flesh it out a little.  I’ve got a knack for getting my little fingers on a hunk of flesh and ripping it from the skin which is more economical, time-wise, than knifing it out.  My nick-name for the day is “The Ripper.”

Here is my head form for the coyote, with artificial jaws set in.  Original skulls are rarely used these days because over time the teeth crack and break.  I think when I’m doing this on my own, however, I will use original skulls, simply because I have a disdain for all things plastic.  Maybe I’ll cast metal ones, who knows.

I wanted to challenge myself so I studied some reference pictures and carved a snarling shape into the form.  Creating this expression also involves various sculpting techniques with clay but I’ll keep that info to myself.  I’m trying really hard to keep my inner-brat from emerging as my patience grows thin with all this conventional, commercial mounting.  I think when I’m getting paid to do it, I’ll have no issue, but I long to be putting jewels on paws, false lashes on eyes, pheasants on stilts, etc.

When Mr. B came back from lunch he had a present for me- one of his hens had died over the weekend and when he’d mentioned it to me in passing this morning, of course I asked him what they did with it.  “Well, we usually bury ‘em…” …but surprise!  He brought it in for me!  She’s a real looker, too, and she’s all mine to mount however I wish.  Stay tuned.

After we finished mounting the head portion of our rugs, the hides were soaked and stretched on a table.  I am not so adept with hammering; I whacked my thumb several times.  What’s even more tantrum-inducing than smashing a digit repeatedly with a hammer and staying silent about it so as not to draw attention, is your instructor catching it every time and reminding you  “not hit your thumb with that hammer.  It really smarts.”

I noticed several lady bugs on the table; the other student and Mr. B were eager to destroy them.  Apparently there is a huge LB infestation in the area and they are not viewed as the luck-spreading, charming little guys we here in the city know them as.   In fact, they are a different breed.  The LBs up in the Poconos are an Asian beetle which look exactly like Ladybugs, and were brought to the US to aid in pest control.  I guess they then became the pest themselves.  I’m told they reproduce like crazy and clog up vents, eat through stuff, and bite.

Not so cute:

I took the scenic way home, via back roads, and stopped for coffee at a little shop in White Haven.  I’d wanted to stay and enjoy it there while I soaked in the environment, maybe get some networking practice, but it was just myself and the “barista” I doubt he’d call himself that) there and I felt him eyeing my every move so I stepped out.  I hate feeling watched when I haven’t made it clear I’m looking to be the center of attention.  I start to second guess my every move and can’t think straight.

When I got home, I took a walk around the hilly fields behind the cabin and then took a nap with the dogs in front of the fire while the boys made dinner.  They ate and headed out, and I went to bed.

-Beth Beverly
Swellco & Swellco 21474b

We are thankful for the power of profit

One year ago, Swellco & Swellco gave the go ahead to have the Video Circus Subliminal Messaging site go live after a couple of months of beta work on a test site. We have decided not to celebrate this day as our anniversary because we really didn’t launch until our first Community Outreach Event in March. But today we decided to quietly mention the humble birthing of the Video Circus into the world.

Being a day of thanks, we wanted to take a moment to express some of the many things we are thankful for.

We are thankful for bizarre sea creatures and beautiful strippers. We are thankful for good whiskey and the miracle of little people. We are thankful for assault rifles and tentacle porn anime. We are thankful for corporeal punishment and clown makeup. We are thankful for hula hoops and good punk rock. We are thankful for Cthulhu and conjoined twins. We are thankful for low riders and Italian horror films. We are thankful for strange taxidermy and Biggy Smalls. We are thankful for Furry Fandom and Kenneth Anger. We are thankful for giant sex toys and two headed snakes. We are thankful for naked bodies and good wine. We are thankful for drag queens and hallucinogenic toads. We are thankful for rare meat and striped stockings.  We are thankful for unicorns and pierced nipples. We are thankful for Halloween masks and pickled punks. We are thankful for taxi cabs and chocolate pudding. We are thankful for the power of the party and the strength of the digital image. We are thankful for the Video Circus and the Subversive Subliminal Process. We are thankful for animal sacrifice and sex alters. We are thankful for the power of profit and the honor of continued employment by our corporate masters at Swellco & Swellco.

But most importantly, we are thankful for you, the consumer asset, for submitting yourself to the Swellco & Swellco Subversive Subliminal Process. Your continued business is truly appreciated.

I’m not surprised when I see something controversial coming out of Canada. It is, after all, one of the most morally bankrupt and mentally ill societies in the world. And so goes the dead piggy bank.

If you haven’t heard about the taxidermied baby piggy bank, you probably live in box in my basement like my ex-girlfriend.  It’s all over the news and it appears to be causing all kinds of trouble. The British Columbia based novelty item company that sells the little fucker for $4000.00 a corpse is getting death threats & protests. Vancover Magazine is bracing for a letter campaign against them by PETA for running an ad for it. Humans amaze me. Millions of people are walking down the street right now, carrying change in dead animals strapped to their arms. What’s the big deal? Is it that it has a face? Well guess what, those shoes once had a face, that hamburger once had a face. I want to protest these guys too, but because of the price tag. I bet if I ask real nice and club it myself, Beth Beverly would probably make me one for a lot less.

-Marcus Abrey
Swellco & Swellco 24534b

I can honestly say the stench didn’t bother me that much.  After a few minutes you just get used to it.  And yes, I was drinking coffee the entire time, grabbing for my white mug with my gut covered hand and thinking nothing of it.  I was perplexed that no one had wanted to eat these fish, but Mr. B informed me that one of the students from a year ago had caught so many that they did in fact eat them, about 5o of them and  the rest were frozen.  I guess after a certain amount of time they’re rendered inedible due to freezer burn.  Am I crazy for looking at the guts in my hands and being tempted to shove the in my mouth?  Especially the cheek meat!  I remember visiting friends in Basque, when my husband and I went to Saint Sebastian and tried the eat of a fish’s cheek on bread.  It was unpararelled oral delight.   I am eager to buy an entire fish back home and get some of that for myself, as well as a beautiful mount.

I mounted another trout, this one I added some motion to the form to make the fish seem to be swimming.

Next I carved a form for a Blue Gill.

They’re much smaller than Trout and have very large scales which made skinning a challenge.

I opened up to my instructor a bit about what my intentions with taxidermy are, and he showed me some old books featuring “novelty taxidermy” which has been around for longer than I’d imagined.  Perhaps I was a Victorian in a past life!

That afternoon I practiced my hoop and then sat in the side room by the wood burning stove with the guys and worked on a cross word puzzle.  I had to shower the fish smell off before I could eat dinner (I have limits!) and enjoyed chicken with steamed brocoli and risotto for dinner, with cranberry cosmos.

Between the deer and moose meat given to me by my instructor and the royal treatment I receive from my hosts, I am officially being spoiled rotten.

-Beth Beverly
Swellco & Swellco 21474b

Today we learned how to properly airbrush a fish to restore its natural coloring for posterity’s sake.  It’s really a shame that the colors fade in the scales, because no matter how talented the artist-nothing quite compares to nature.  I’m already scheming Trout skin wallets and rabbit mermaids in my not too distant future…

Here is the Trout, with color foundation added.  To show you the rest would give too much away, so there.

The demo took a big chunk of the morning and in the afternoon we added finishing touches on our pheasants, which we were then allowed to take home with us.  I will take professional shots shortly and post them here, as well as on my website.  I am still trying to come up with a name for my business once I get home and set up shop.  Something that appeals to a mass audience but lets my whimsical and humorous side leak through just a tad…

We got out of class a little early so I decided to work on my extracurricular activity-skinning a deer all by myself.

Here she is, laid out in her entirety.  A donation to me from a professional,  although she exhibits no real external wounds (aside from some blood around the mouth and ears), I soon discovered the internal was a completely new can of worms.

There was significant bruising and bleeding around the ribs and guts, the one leg bone was completely shattered from the second joint to the shoulder, and the skull was crushed as well.  Poor thing.  I know this picture is unsettling and graphic, but I also admire the pretty colors leaking out around the skin and flesh.

I wanted to use the legs on their own for either a wall-mounted thermometer or even a hat, who knows.  I tried sawing them off but the blade wouldn’t cut through the bone.  Thankfully there were some bolt cutters in the shed next door and they snapped right through like  buttah. I couldn’t help but cringe with each crackling cut as I imagined my own limbs being cut off in such a fashion.  This empathy I feel towards my specimen seems to be a constant thread running through my mind these days.  I feel sorry and thankful at once for these creatures, who have died by gun, gas or vehicle and wound up in my hands.  I am incessantly imagining every cut, tear and twist as though it were my own body lying there on the table.  I think of how surgeons open us up and swap parts on the regular, as though we as humans are nothing more than living rag dolls.

Does this make me sick?  I prefer to call it thoughtful.

Skinning out the head took a while; the hide didn’t seem to want to stretch over the neck base of the skull so I had to make an extra cut and finesse it a bit.  Here are a couple shots of the nose and lips, pre-splitting.

I went inside to clean out the legs and was promptly informed  by Sarah that I absolutely STUNK.  So I showered, and came down to a lovely chicken dinner and martinis.  Sarah also built her first fire, which is somewhat of a triumph considering the trauma she’s been recovering form since a fire claimed her home almost ten years ago.

After dinner we each had another cocktail and watched “Bringing down the House” to which I couldn’t decide to be offended (more for the plot/script/fight scenes than the racial content) or amused.  We followed with some dessert cocktails and some Dr. Fart.

-Beth Beverly
Swellco & Swellco 21474b