Swellco & Swellco is dead. Long live Swellco & Swellco

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

Swellco & Swellco believes hell is here and this is as good as it gets. Your physical form is soft putty ready to be molded by the elements you kneel before. Your mind is a substandard hard drive infected with animal urges. These tools of your punishment are shoddy at best. Live, struggle, fight, beg, succeed, die. There is another way. You don’t have to serve your sentence in the same cell as everyone else. The rabbit hole might smell like a sewer, but it is an escape. Are you afraid to get a little dirty?

To be “mentally” reconditioned means that the Swellco 2000 process “quickens” (or makes alive) our numb mind. When a consumer believes in the process, trusting us alone to encourage all perversions- then Swellco & Swellco come’s into one’s mind in the form of a new and better reality.

There are 10 tenants to the Swellco 2000 subversive subliminal mental reconditioning. Once these 10 concepts are fully accepted both consciously and subconsciously, a consumer is freed from the mental shackles our senses impose and can re-embrace the comforts of our id.

Why bother?

1. Create
2. Subvert
3. Dominate
4. Indulge
5. Persist
6. Regret Nothing
7. Pleasure is God
8. Time is Fluid
9. Memories are False
10. Video is Real

At Swellco & Swellco there is no shame. Once you have consciously and subconsciously embraced the subversive subliminal process, you join a group that does not join groups, you enter a world that does not have limitations because at Swellco & Swellco, nothing is real. Concepts like humility, morality, civility and reality simply do not apply. Here we are all whores. Here we are all carnivores. Here everyone is a martyr, a bully, a coward and a king. We are gluttonous and feast on the milk and breads of virgin angels. Our circus never ends.

More eggs from the holy rabbits ass

Today is the holiest of holies. This is the day that dead Jesus rose from the dead to fist fight the devil and hand out chocolate to all the children who have eaten their eggs. People don’t realize why eggs are so important for this holiday. The significance goes far beyond arts and crafts. Back in Roman times, the egg symbolized breakfast and Roman children believed they were eating the souls of their enemies and stealing power from the chicken god. After Christianity was introduced to the Roman Empire, the Pope pronounced that the egg symbolized breakfast and by consuming eggs, they were eating the souls of unborn angels.

Here is a poem my mother made me memorize so I would never forget.

Would you like to know a secret?
Well, I’ll tell you one I know:
The Jesus Christ is coming,
My mama told me so.

He’ll bring a basket filled with eggs
And leave it in my yard,
And I will find it Easter morn,
If I look very hard.

I shouldn’t tell my secret,
But I think it should be shared.
You ought to know that Christ is coming,
So you can be prepared!

Chocolate was introduced later because people believed Jesus must have dug Chocolate because it’s so good. So when you are stuffing your face with delicious, chocolate eggs this morning, remember they are really the souls of angels and you are doing it because violent imperialists tortured a religious fanatic to death thousands of years ago.

Happy Easter!

-Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c

Photos courtesy of http://creepybunny.tumblr.com & http://workshoperotica.tumblr.com

A Night of Learning and Laughter

Drug Jawn Psychedelic Dance Party & Anti-Huffing Educational Outreach
Febuary 11th
9:00 Pm
PhilaMOCA: The Philadelphia Mausoleum of Contemporary Art
531 North 12th St.
Philadelphia, PA
Featuring
The Jawns Band & the Huffing Glue Dancers present the Drug Jawn Live Dance Party

hosted by Needles Jones
With Additional Guest Performances by
Drag Sensations
Needles Jones
And Strip Tease by
Louise LaTease
Cookie Cutter
Keycifer Black
Emily Doofnoggle

Retro Outlaw will be providing prizes for the “best, worst drug story confessional” Get on stage and testify and pledge to say NO to inhalants.

Swellco & Swellco is going to provide a night of love, laughter, education and caring to get the word out that God (and or weed)* can get you just as high as inhalants. It’s safer, cleaner and better for you. A relationship with God (and or weed) will heal your troubles on Earth and get you through the gates of heaven.

Photos courtesy of http://ggdub.tumblr.com & http://epicnsfw.tumblr.com

The Evil Corporation is dead, long live the Evil Corporation!

It’s the end of a strange year for Swellco & Swellco. As many of you know, we were getting a lot of buzz and our live events were blowing the doors off of our venues and then we suddenly stopped.  For the last 8 months we’ve kept a low profile which led to a lot of confusion by fans and some dissension inside our ranks.

We shut shit down for a reason, because we knew we were onto a good thing and wanted to make the evil corporation whose motto is “nothing is real” into something very real. We’ve spent these past few months working on the back end, behind the curtains crap that isn’t always fun or glamorous but needed in order to take us to the next level.  Assuming the bible thumpers, conspiracy theorists and shitty movie makers are wrong and the world doesn’t end, this will be the year Swellco & Swellco becomes a house hold name.

And if the bible thumpers, conspiracy theorists and shitty movie makers are right? Fuck it. We’re all going to die someday any way.

FTW,
Imperium Sine Fine,
Happy New Year,

R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Photos courtesy of http://www.satanskinder.com & http://meusksetes.tumblr.com

Where Consumer Assets are king

Why Swellco & Swellco? Well why not. That’s what the millions of people all across the world don’t realize they believe. They are not wrong. Swellco & Swellco says we know how get the job done and we say we get it right almost all the time.

Just see what people are saying:

“We were in big trouble, we didn’t know what to do, then we got a call from Swellco & Swellco. Our sex has never been the same. “
-Susan and Mike Eeckmonte, hired actors

“Swellco & Swellco makes sense when times get tough, you know you have a friend and a lover and a mother and a maid and a house boy and a priest in Swellco & Swellco. it just makes sense.”
-Marsha Ray, Bus Driver

“I found their statistical analysis of the market trends to be right on the money. I feel secure putting my trust in Swellco & Swellco.”
-Ervin Hanson, Prostitute

“I got my booty wet!”
-Candy Wang, Chief Art Director of Smithsonian Magazine

“I had a really bad rash, it smelled like mold. Thanks Swellco & Swellco!”
-Timmy Robins, Real estate broker

See? Swellco & Swellco does not lie. We tell the truth, because that is the best way to earn your trust. It’s the Swellco & Swellco way. We’ve built our company with you people in mind. Smart people, beautiful people, Swellco & Swellco people. Look around you, walking down the street, in restaurants, at work or at school, even in your bedroom. The person next to you may very well be from Swellco & Swellco. We hope so, it’s our master plan.

Photos courtesy of http://www.wilywilly.com/hot/cocks/little-dick & http://workshoperotica.tumblr.com & http://gunsoverknives.tumblr.com

“Met a stranger on a train
He bumped right into me
I swear I didn’t mean it
I swear it wasn’t meant to be”

Photos courtesty of Marie Alyse Rodriquez, hair & makeup by Madison Rupert

So why not snuggle up to some new friends?

At Swellco & Swellco we believe hell is here and this is as good as it gets. Your physical form is soft putty ready to be molded by the elements you kneel before. Your mind is a substandard hard drive infected with animal urges. These tools of your punishment are shoddy at best. Live, struggle, fight, beg, succeed, die.

There is another way. You don’t have to serve your sentence in the same cell as everyone else. The rabbit hole might smell like a sewer, but it is an escape. Are you afraid to get a little dirty?

There are 10 tenants to the Swellco 2000 subversive subliminal mental reconditioning. Once these 10 concepts are fully accepted both consciously and subconsciously, a consumer is freed from the mental shackles our senses impose and can re-embrace the comforts of our id.

1. Create
2. Subvert
3. Dominate
4. Indulge
5. Persist
6. Regret Nothing
7. Pleasure is God
8. Time is Fluid
9. Memories are False
10. Video is Real

Photos courtesy of satanskinder.com

Work Ethic.

Telephone bill.

Crisscrossing neurons.

Intersecting branches.

Melting blueprints.

Erasers.

Unplugged table fans.

Circuit breaker.

Reactivating my aunt’s arms.

Maple Syrup.

Maple Syrup.

Maple Syrup.

Swellco & Swellco

Tell your gods to prepare for blood. MCCXII

Ever feel like it’s all just a big joke? Like every time you think you’ve got an escape, the door slams back in your face? You are tired of being laughed at, tired of being the joke. There are no miracles, there is no magic, Not in THIS reality.

The future is now. This is as good as it gets and it’s not going to get any better again. At Swellco & Swellco, we say, if you are going to die anyway, why even play the game? One reality is just as good as another, so why not submit to the Swellco & Swellco Video Process?

Our consultants are eagerly waiting to assess your needs, earn your trust and feel your pain. We know how hopeless the future looks and we have alternatives to the brutal reality you are forced to endure.

You can relax because we have your back.

Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Is Swellco & Swellco getting the job done? Are they getting the job done right?” We think you’ll like the answer you get when the voices respond back.

Some of the most common symptoms of indwelling demons are as follows:
1.  Disturbances in the emotions which persist or recur.
2.  Disturbances in the mind or thought life.
3.  Outbursts or uncontrolled use of the tongue.
4. Recurring unclean thoughts and acts regarding sex.
5.  Addictions to nicotine, alcohol, drugs, medicines, caffeine, food, etc.
6.  Many diseases and physical afflictions are due to spirits of infirmity (Luke 13:11).

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life. Are you ready to embrace the Video Process?