People forget who Christmas is really for, it’s for the CHILDREN. Those fun loving tikes are just learning the difference between right and wrong  and they’re just learning who lil’ baby Jesus is. So to celebrate this holy of holy days, I’m presenting my favorite child poem about Christmas for the good kids out there. For the naughty ones, I’m presenting our hottest of hotties Kurtis, doing her Krampus the Christmas Demon dance.

Baby’s First X-mas!

You have to hold him up to see
The angel on the Christmas tree.
And even though he’s still too small
To know the meaning of it all
You watch his eyes reflect the glow
Of colored lights that come and go
And feel him quiver with delight
At every new and wondrous sight.
There’s Santa with his jolly face
Beaming from the fireplace.
And from the stocking hanging there
Peeks a cuddly teddy bear.
Bright ornaments and candy canes –
Musical toy and wooden trains –
There’s just no end to the delights
Spread out for him this night of nights!
He points and grins from ear to ear
And then he yawns – his bedtime’s near!
Dad gives him a kiss and you tuck him away
To rest up for the fun of his first Christmas Day!

-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Photos Courtesy of R.E. Brown

Always the office crack up, that’s Louise.

Because they’re so important to us and to our creating a positive experience for our customers, we’ll let a few members of our staff introduce themselves. Today we’d like to introduce systems administrator, Louise L’tease (Swellco & Swellco 13493a).

When Louise joined Swellco & Swellco in 2008 as a  System’s Administrator, she wanted to work in a challenging, fast-paced environment and be part of an exciting company on the leading edge of sinister mind control practices. Well, she got her wish. And it doesn’t hurt that, according to Louise, “blood sacrifice rocks.” All those long hours and dead animals paid off. Louise has recently been promoted to Artistic Director of the Swellco &  Swellco Community Outreach Division. For Louise, working here brings new and exciting challenges every day. Before selling us her soul, she spent 5 years in a mental hospital in New Jersey where she ate pudding. Prior to that she slept in a Baltimore ditch and battled trolls for a year. Louise has also gained significant technology experience working for Rackspace Managed Hosting in San Antonio as a Linux System Administrator and at Lockheed Martin’s Consolidated Space Operations Contract at the Johnson Space Center as a Jr. System Administrator. She loves soft cheese, stepping on cockroaches and line dancing. Also, during her days off, she stalks high school boys as human prey.

Louise is competing in the Employee of the Month Contest

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

To be “mentally” reconditioned means that Swellco & Swellco’s Video Circus process “quickens” (or makes alive) our numb mind. When a consumer believes in the process of the Video Circus, trusting us alone to encourage all perversions- then Swellco & Swellco come’s into one’s mind in the form of a new and better reality.

Photos courtesy of http://www.sex.sc & http://gunsoverknives.tumblr.com

It’s time to start the show

Preceding clip is either an extended segment, excerpt or alternate version from portions of various episodes of the Swellco & Swellco Video Circus.

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

To be “mentally” reconditioned means that Swellco & Swellco’s Video Circus process “quickens” (or makes alive) our numb mind. When a consumer believes in the process of the Video Circus, trusting us alone to encourage all perversions- then Swellco & Swellco come’s into one’s mind in the form of a new and better reality.