You can relax because we have your back.

Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Is Swellco & Swellco getting the job done? Are they getting the job done right?” We think you’ll like the answer you get when the voices respond back.

Some of the most common symptoms of indwelling demons are as follows:
1.  Disturbances in the emotions which persist or recur.
2.  Disturbances in the mind or thought life.
3.  Outbursts or uncontrolled use of the tongue.
4. Recurring unclean thoughts and acts regarding sex.
5.  Addictions to nicotine, alcohol, drugs, medicines, caffeine, food, etc.
6.  Many diseases and physical afflictions are due to spirits of infirmity (Luke 13:11).

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life. Are you ready to embrace the Video Process?

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

To be “mentally” reconditioned means that Swellco & Swellco’s Video Circus process “quickens” (or makes alive) our numb mind. When a consumer believes in the process of the Video Circus, trusting us alone to encourage all perversions- then Swellco & Swellco come’s into one’s mind in the form of a new and better reality.

HOW WOULD YOU SPEND YOUR LAST NIGHT ON EARTH?

It’s been a good year.

One year ago on the 9th, the Swellco & Swellco Video Circus officially announced itself to the world with our first Community Outreach Seminar. The Philadelphia Weekly published our press release as an attempted hoax. That was the moment we knew we were on to something. Yes, we realize this is a week late, but we’re busy. Cut us some slack.

The already legendary night was organized as a chance for the public to join the staff in fun, learning and laughter as we got the word out that bestiality is not a victimless crime.  What was meant as a mellow night for the whole family devolved into drunken mayhem as bar fights broke out and people tore off their clothes.  We had launched the subversive subliminal test project with a very, very big bang.

Over the past year we’ve had some pretty big highs and lows.

The Good:
Our staff has quadrupled in size, with street teams, production crews, photographers, writers and beautiful models all riding our giant corporate cock. We have finished completion of our palatial armed compound and testing facility in the posh Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia and are preparing to film our second full length Video Circus episode in front of a live studio audience. In 12 months we have collected 20 significant press clippings and held 6 sold out community outreach events. Swellco2000.com has a growth rate that can only be described as remarkable.

The Bad:
The tragic death of Acid Squid in September was a demoralizing blow for us all. We have also dealt with waves of haters. Religious groups have repeatedly threatened to protest our events and we’ve been the focus of letter writing campaigns. Shockingly, on more than one occasion, local performers have viewed our blitzkrieg appearance on the scene as threatening competition instead of as a helpful resource. Our fist monthly event was cancelled after the second date because the shear level of depravity and madness brought by our fans could not be allowed to go unchecked without legal repercussions. Staff member Rog Shatterz got knocked up and had to leave and spokesman Mr. Deadguy disappeared.

But with all the turmoil and controversy surrounding us, we have continued to grow, and grow, and grow. Swellco & Swellco’s testing in the Philadelphia region has been such a success that we are already laying out enormous groundwork in order to create a national presence.

If this is year one, just wait for year two.

Bravissimo = Burlesque Royalty

The post-social networking world of DIY promotion has its ups and downs. The upside: those with a small (or even no) budgets can promote their projects and gain exposure in a way that wouldn’t have been possible 20 years ago. The downside: there are a whole lot of self-promoters and performers who wrap themselves in a womb of self-delusion and assumed importance. Everyone believes they are about to be stars… or worse, that they already are. Live performers huddle in cliquey troupes and collectives that are often more reminiscent of a ridiculous junior high reenactment of The Warriors.

Enter The Bravissimo Burlesque. Lil’ Steph and Miss Rose looked around at the trite cattiness that punctuated burlesque and sideshow troupes and said “enough.” The Bravissimo Burlesque has no time for egos or gang signs. It’s an open call for the vast wealth of individual performers on the east coast. Circus and burlesque stars come from all over the region to work their magic while leaving their attitude behind.

Like Swellco & Swellco’s Community Outreach Program, The Bravissimo Burlesque Showcase is often mistaken for a performance troupe instead of a reaction to them. That being said, perhaps it’s no wonder that our special events artistic director Louise LaTease, as well as Swellco & Swellco staffer favorites like Mr. Deadguy, Needles Jones & Heather Henderson are regulars, or that Lil’ Steph & Miss Rose are Swellco & Swellco staffers themselves. We operate so closely to them that we consider them to be our (slightly) more wholesome cousin. Kind of like a Marylyn Munster to our Ed Gein.

This month at The Hard Times Talent Contest, Lil’ Steph and Miss Rose will be once again exploring their dark side with Louise LaTease for a full set of ultra-disturbing Burlesque.  If you miss it, you are a cunt. But you can redeem yourself by checking out Bravissimo every last Saturday of the month at WineO in Northern Liberties.

-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Photos courtesy of Dan Joyce Photography

Have you seen me?

There has been some concern as of late about the whereabouts of Swellco & Swellco Employee Asset & Video Circus Spokesman, Mr. Deadguy. Mr. Deadguy took a leave of absence to tend to his young manservant and companion, Baby Cheezwitts. The dead puppet still suffers from severe agoraphobia and chronic death after the brutal attack at Swellco & Swellco’s Anti-Bestiality Community Outreach last spring.  Baby Cheezwitts’ condition has only improved mildly over the past 8 months and doctors have repeatedly stated that it is unlikely that the condition will improve, being that Baby Cheezwitts is already dead. Since April, the puppet has been sequestered in an unknown, unmarked grave. Mr. Deadguy left  on an extended leave in early June in order to try and locate where he buried his young companion.

That leave has been cut short. The taping of the first full episode of the Swellco & Swellco Video Circus Happy Time Dance Party Talk Show has been scheduled and management had planned on calling Mr. Deaguy back to the office.  Unfortunately, our efforts to locate either Mr. Deadguy or Baby Cheezwitts have been unsuccessful. Repeated calls have gone unreturned, attempts to locate him at the shack down by the river, or the brothels he frequents have bared fruitless. Swellco & Swellco staff speculate that Mr. Deadguy may have inadvertently buried himself and forgotten the location of his grave as well.

Swellco & Swellco is offering $150.00 in cash and a jug of Swellco & Swellco Ritual Grade Wolf Pee as reward for any information leading to the discovery of Mr. Deadguy, Mr. Deadguy’s severed head or Baby Cheezwitts. Please contact us at (781) CULT-BIZ /285-8249 or info@swellco2000.com

Be sure to check out his site while you’re at it

Photos courtesy of mrdeadguy.com

Swellco & Swellco's Needles Jones is Loved by All

At Swellco & Swellco, we listen. We take the time to take our customers needs into consideration, because that’s what a good company is supposed to do. Here is just a single example of how people are taking their time to say “thanks Swellco & Swellco!”

—————– Original Message —————–
From: THE Professional
To: R.E. Brown
Date: November 14, 2010 1:10 PM
Subject: the greatest gift
What kind of shit is this garbage??? why would you post something like that? Its pure trash!!!! I cant believe your web would host such filth!! Do not post no more garbage like that again or i will delete your website, because fuck blocking you so you can jus keep exposing to other people dumb stuff, I will jus delete you off the web!!!!!!!Good day, keep it moving!

—————– Original Message —————–
From: THE Professional
To: R.E. Brown
Date: November 14, 2010 1:12 PM
Subject:

the greatest giftthis was the worst burden ever!!! i cant believe i lost 3 minutes of my life with that bullshit!!!!!!!!!! find someone who cares!!! i dont know why you would post something like that to anyway? you are really lame!there is so much one can do with a camera that is jus a shame! a waste of skill and a lack of know how! go back to school or something! find a new line of work cuz you def aint gonna cut it wit makin films!!!! i do hope you realize that!!!!!!!! ASSHOLE!

Praises and/or Death Threats
Call (781) CULT-LOL /318-6278

info @ swellco2000.com

Our first Guest hosts Helen Harper & Uncle Wheat Toast

We’ve said it one, we’ve said it twice, now we are going to say it again. It has been a dark & rocky start up for the Video Circus. Swellco & Swellco International’s recent acquisition has been fraught with problems in this, our first year. There was the assault on employee Baby Cheezwits at our very first community outreach event, delays in construction of the studio, staffing issues with our Cinema Barbare series, our slated host, Acid Squids untimely passing, the unexpected visit and inspection to Philadelphia by a Swellco & Swellco International Board Member and continuous financing issues drug down our progress. There has been one irritating question asked again & again-

WHERE IS THE VIDEO CIRCUS?

We are finally ready to start the show. The Swellco & Swellco Video Circus pilot episode will be filmed at our luxurious test facility & palatial armed compound in the scenic Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia.
Part talk show.
Part dance party.
Part variety show.
All insane.

Instead of just replacing Acid Squid, we have decided to rotate different hosts each month. Our first episode is entitled “Get to Know Us” and will be featuring All Swellco & Swellco Staff.

Hosts will be the Psychotic Helen Harper & the beautiful Uncle Wheat Toast.

Our first guests will also be all Swellco & Swellco employees. Louise LaTease & Keycifer Black will be performing more twisted burlesque. Elder statesman Needles Jones will be crooning to the audience. Mr. Deadguy has been invited, but has not yet returned our calls. It is rumored that Baby Cheezwitts has still not recovered from the trauma suffered at the Anti-bestiality community outreach and no one knows where he is buried.

Staff members Senior Pee Pee & Dr. Preta will be swinging by as well.

Twenty audience members are being invited to If you live in the Philadelphia Tri-state area and would like to attend our taping, please contact us at info@swellco2000.com and convince us why you should be allowed to attend this VERY exclusive happening.

Check here for more details

The Get to Know Us pilot episode will feature staff members Louise LaTease & Keycifer Black

Staff Member Needles Jones will be belting out a song. Disgruntled Mr. Deadguy won't return our calls.

Dressed eggs or deviled eggs, whatever you call them: these variations on traditional deviled eggs (click here for the traditional version) make great party appetizers and appeal to those with a sense of excitement! Devilled eggs make great party food: they’re easy to hold, they make a lovely presentation and they’re good for you, too. Kids love them.

Curried Deviled Eggs

• 12 eggs
• 1/4 cup mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon curry paste, mild or hot
• 2 teaspoons lemon juice
• fresh parsley for garnish (optional)

Hard boil and slice eggs as done in Basic Devilled Eggs. Combine yolks, mayonnaise, curry paste, and lemon juice in a zipper bag and mash until smooth and combined.

Fill egg whites as above, and garnish with sprigs of parsley if desired.

Our reality is better than your reality

Photos courtesy of Jim McHugh

Like all Swellco & Swellco subsidiaries, the Video Circus has been tasked with reaching out to the community and earning it’s trust. While our first attempt, the Anti-Bestiality Educational Outreach and Heavy Metal Dance Party, was a raging success, it was also marred by violence. multiple fights broke out and Anti-Bestiality spokesman Baby Cheezwits was brutally assaulted.

Needles Jones, Lil' Steph, Helvis, Uncle Wheat Toast and Dirty Diamond

Baby Cheezwits was severely traumatized by the event and has flown into a state of psychotic agoraphobia. No one knows exactly where he is buried. But Swellco & Swellco stands by it’s employee assets and the Video Circus wanted to get the word out that puppet persecution is just as valid a hate crime as any other. To raise this awareness, we held him an Amateur Go-Go Contest and Hip Hop Dance Party Benefit.

Host Louise LaTease demands your attention

What seemed like a straight forward event was surrounded by controversy and turmoil. The path to the Cheezwits party was embattled by a hate mail campaign, the site temporarily suspended and even a threatened protest. But still we pushed forward with the belief that young naked girls, badonkadonk music, scary old men in lipstick and puppets all create a recipe for wholesome fun and healing.

DJ Ron & DJ Roofeo blew the audience away

The turmoil raged up until the day of the event, concerns continued. Both the Phillies and The Flyers were playing that night. An unseasonably cold severe thunderstorm battered the city with icy rain and a third of the pre-registered contestants canceled do to a virus that seemed to cripple half the region. All these strikes on a mid-week evening made the turnout seem bleak,

competition was fierce

Well the promise of lewd behavior and last minute blood offerings to the dark lords of beyond won out. Bob & Barbara’s packed past capacity. 14 girls and 0 boys aggressively competed. Some were spur of the moment amateurs in street cloths, some were thoroughbred pros pre-equipped with props & costumes. The event truly raised questions about the distinctions between burlesque, go-go and stripping, as each contestant seemed to interpret the contest differently.

Happily there was no repeat of violence. PR Director, The Machine monitored his tequila consumption and self loathing mustache adorned Swellco & Swellco hater Shawn P. Matzke did not arrive to cause trouble.

This time no one got hurt

Dirty Diamond & Louise LaTease did their best to control the crowds and their own narcissistic urges after a technical difficultly forced them to SHARE a microphone.

DJ Roofeo & DJ Ron spun dope beats as Needles Jones, Lil Steph, Helvis & Uncle Wheat Toast grappled with the near impossible chore of judging the talent.

After a near riot, a winner was announced

We would like to thank, Passional Boutique & Pabst Blue Ribbon for sponsoring the event, our awesome hosts, judges and DJ’s for who without, we would not have such an epic bar tab. Bob Dix, R.E. Brown, Louise LaTease and Tina Nguyen for (dis)organizing such a bad idea. We would also like to thank Bob & Barbara’s Lounge for unknowingly allowing the Video Circus to expose 200 test subjects to the hidden subversive subliminal signal embedded in the Baby Cheezwits video loop.

Stay tuned for the next Swellco & Swellco Community Outreach and many more photo sets to come.