Hypnotic

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

To be “mentally” reconditioned means that Swellco & Swellco’s Video Circus process “quickens” (or makes alive) our numb mind. When a consumer believes in the process of the Video Circus, trusting us alone to encourage all perversions- then Swellco & Swellco come’s into one’s mind in the form of a new and better reality.

Photos courtesy of http://superwoobinda.tumblr.com

We are unlocking the gates to the Kingdom of the Strange

Tonight marks yet another benchmark in Swellco & Swellco Sponsored Community Outreach Events, This evening at the Khyber, we are having the launch of our first monthly dance party and “talent” contest.

The party is co-sponsored by Burning Angel, will be featuring Rock n’ Roll Royalty Kishbaugh & Kohlhofer in the booth and performances by the Rigor Mortis Revue. The proceeds will be going to help the recently injured porn star, Jessie Lee.

We’ve always sponsored great performers, we’ve always had great DJs and we’ve always doted on girls who have sex for money. Swellco & Swellco events are marked by pedigreed talent and unmatched in originality, but this is something different.

What makes this different is YOU, the audience. We know times are hard and that’s why we created Hard Times. We are in a depression, and in a depression you do what you’ve got to do to survive. That is the basis for the contest. Get up in front of the crowd and do what ever it takes to compel the hosts to give you $100 in cash.
Sleazy
Freaky
Gross
Trippy
Weird
Pervy
Stupid
Slutty
Just keep it legal…

-A surprise guest performer will be stopping by
-Hosted by Keycifer Black & Louise LaTease
-$2 PBR
-Free Helen Harper Sugar Cookies at the door
-Raffles for Burning Angel swag, Swellco & Swellco Ritual Grade Wolf Pee & More.

-$8 donation to get in
-$1 raffle tickets
Doors open at 9:30
Contest at midnight.
2nd floor of the Khyber
56 S. 2nd Street
Philadelphia Pa

We are expanding into two more cities in the next couple of months so look for a Community Outreach near you.

Vol. 3 Synopsis

R.E. Brown warns about the dangers and pitfalls of Necrophilia. Management has a meeting to discuss the pros and cons of selling heroin to children, PCP consumption in Japan and the tastiness of Sea Monkeys. Brides of the Circus Astrid and Louise LaTease play with guns. Keycifer does a Video Circus strip tease. The staff gets together to get the word out that clown bashing is not ok. Plus plenty of subversive subliminal messaging designed to suck your soul out of your brain.

It’s been 16 days since Baphomet’s Celebrity Birthday Bash, Masquerade, Heavy Metal Dance Party and Emergency Preparedness Drill in Olde City, Philadelphia. I haven’t been the same since this event went down. Ask anyone around the office: Mr. Brown, Mr. Black, and even Uncle Wheat Toast have commented how, ever since Baphomet‘s Birthday, I’ve been different. It may just be hormones – but I think I might have lost my mind. I’ve always been teetering on the edge of sanity, anyway. Let’s review the events leading up to Baphomet’s Birthday Bash and find out where I snapped, shall we?

GLENN BECK PINATA: Day One

“Let’s drink all day and make a pinata that looks like Glenn Beck! That sounds like FUN!” It did seem like it would be fun… in the beginning. But one can only drink so much and be so productive, as I’ve learned on too many occasions in my short lifetime.  We had already done all of the preparatory work: instead of using tons of balloons and trying to form them into a life-size human form, we instead used my faithful blow-up doll that I had used for performances in the past. We printed out Glenn Beck’s face, in a beautiful color, chiarascurro-rich, tearful print. We made a lot of wheat paste, and readied the doll. We had 2 boxes of wine and professional photographer.  All in all, a good day, except for we got so caught up in being awesome that we forgot we had poor Glenn to tend to. See the rest of the photos from that day here.

GLENN BECK PINATA: Day Two

Day Two happened about 4 or 5 days after the first shoot. We had to let the paper mache dry, after all. The staff for Day Two included our very own (in)famous Keycifer Black, and amazing newcomers Avalon LeFey and Jak Christ. This marks my first Glenn Beck-related departure with reality. I was calmly sipping a gin and tonic, sewing a new costume, tentatively entitled “Queen of the Furries” – I’ll explain later… or just read this – when I happened to look up at what we were filming and noticed that white paint was flying EVERYWHERE. All over the brand new (and newly painted and lacquered) stage, the stripper poles, the hand-painted Elder Seal on the floor. I’ll admit it: I snapped. It didn’t matter if the cause of the mess was two insanely hot girls spanking each other with paint-heavy brushes, as hard as they could, all caught on film. Anyways, you can see the rest of the photos from that debaucherous night here.

OCTOBER 29th, 2010: BAPHOMET’S BIRTHDAY

The stage was set. Glenn Beck was transported seamlessly on the trustworthy Market-Frankford line from the Swellco & Swellco Palatial Compound in Kensington over to the Khyber, where the party would be happening later that evening. Keycifer and I made a candy run for Glenn Beck’s innards to get our money’s worth of awesome candy to shove up Glenn Beck’s ass. We almost got hit by 4 cars and got hit on by every idiot on Market Street, but it was worth it. We saved money to buy more eggs for the Bukkake Mimes Experimental Dance Company‘s act for the night… but, that is another story, as well.

The big problem with the pinata was how exactly to hang it. We had extracted the blow-up doll from inside by letting the paper mache harden and then popping/extracting various latex parts, so the pinata was hollow and now filled with delicious candy. There were several theories on how to work the pinata. One involved keeping it unseen, in the green room, until he was ready for sacrifice. I, however, was adamant about having Glenn be on display, preferably in pinata-form, hanging from the ceiling in the back room near the DJ booth, so everyone could see his pretty, pink sparkly tie. So we hung him there from a rope noose, and, satisfied, I went to go get pretty in the green room. Not less than ten minutes later, I hear a scuffle and then a thud coming from the back of the space, then several people calling my name. I, unwillingly and half-dressed, ran to the back of the space, just in time to see my beloved pinata BEHEADED; the noose had put too much strain on his fragile neck, and he’s snapped. In that moment, I snapped too. I had kept watch over this pinata for almost a month at the headquarters, not letting anyone else touch it. Taking it on the El was much easier than expected, as was the extracting of the inner layer and the subsequent filling with candy. Why, now, after all this, could my plan possibly fail?!

We made it work. The surprising part about this entire experience was how, as Mr. Black approached me with the disembodied head of my beloved pinata, I felt no emotion. None, whatsoever, even after caring for it meticulously for weeks. I simply took the head and body, silently, and stuffed them into the green room until Keycifer and I were ready to make the sacrifice. All in all, it turned out fantastically. Black Sabbath played, a man in a devil costume was chosen out of the audience to sacrifice Glenn Beck, Helvis  Presley provided all of the sacrifical weapons we needed to dedicate Glenn Beck as an offering to Satan, and all was right with the world. But not in my mind. It never will be. Something about that pinata will always haunt me. Don’t get me wrong, the event was fantastic… from what I remember. After the pinata was sacrificed, I kept my sparkly upside-down pentagram pasties on and drank my face off, not remembering the rest of the night. I had served my duty, and the rest was just play. Special thanks to DJ Metal GR/EG for keeping it together. I’ll see you all at the next jawn…

-Louise LaTease
Swellco & Swellco 13493a

Our first Guest hosts Helen Harper & Uncle Wheat Toast

We’ve said it one, we’ve said it twice, now we are going to say it again. It has been a dark & rocky start up for the Video Circus. Swellco & Swellco International’s recent acquisition has been fraught with problems in this, our first year. There was the assault on employee Baby Cheezwits at our very first community outreach event, delays in construction of the studio, staffing issues with our Cinema Barbare series, our slated host, Acid Squids untimely passing, the unexpected visit and inspection to Philadelphia by a Swellco & Swellco International Board Member and continuous financing issues drug down our progress. There has been one irritating question asked again & again-

WHERE IS THE VIDEO CIRCUS?

We are finally ready to start the show. The Swellco & Swellco Video Circus pilot episode will be filmed at our luxurious test facility & palatial armed compound in the scenic Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia.
Part talk show.
Part dance party.
Part variety show.
All insane.

Instead of just replacing Acid Squid, we have decided to rotate different hosts each month. Our first episode is entitled “Get to Know Us” and will be featuring All Swellco & Swellco Staff.

Hosts will be the Psychotic Helen Harper & the beautiful Uncle Wheat Toast.

Our first guests will also be all Swellco & Swellco employees. Louise LaTease & Keycifer Black will be performing more twisted burlesque. Elder statesman Needles Jones will be crooning to the audience. Mr. Deadguy has been invited, but has not yet returned our calls. It is rumored that Baby Cheezwitts has still not recovered from the trauma suffered at the Anti-bestiality community outreach and no one knows where he is buried.

Staff members Senior Pee Pee & Dr. Preta will be swinging by as well.

Twenty audience members are being invited to If you live in the Philadelphia Tri-state area and would like to attend our taping, please contact us at info@swellco2000.com and convince us why you should be allowed to attend this VERY exclusive happening.

Check here for more details

The Get to Know Us pilot episode will feature staff members Louise LaTease & Keycifer Black

Staff Member Needles Jones will be belting out a song. Disgruntled Mr. Deadguy won't return our calls.

Photos courtesy of Clayton Sweeney, Jak Christ, Greg Christie & John Goreham

So, we are going to take a different approach to our usual event debriefings. Instead we are going to post a series of debriefings, from the perspective of different staff members who were involved or in charge of different aspects of the party.

Corporate head quarters has been very pleased with the Video Circus’ community outreach events this year and want us to further our reach into the hearts and minds of the city we are seated in. Because of this, I have been transitioning the live events over to Louise LaTease, who has been tasked with forming a regularly performing troupe. Which is great by me. In all honesty, I dread the live events. Not that they haven’t been wildly successful. But the stress leading up to the event leaves what’s left of my fragile brain all crispy crunchy like the bones of a baby bird.

The good everyone saw.
-The party was packed to capacity.
-The password stayed off a steady stream of Old City douche bags who tried to crash. Only true zealots were welcomed.
-There were so many furies that we couldn’t keep them corralled in one spot
-There were even more “almost nudes” than furies.
-The Bukkake Mime Experimental Dance Troupe who came all the way from Hamburg Germany were AMAZING. They picked Satan & Jesus to wield the mighty bukakke cannons, which only added to nuance of the very artistic dance.
-The Swellco & Swellco Burlesque  girls were all amazing.
-Needles Jones performance was outstanding and he played an unexpected full set. His “Happy Birthday Mr. Baphomet” routine was also amazing as was the Swellco & Swellco entry for worlds largest penis cake, which he sang over.
-Even though we had no forks, knives or serving utensils, the entire cake was consumed.
-DJ GR/EG’s return to the turn table helm was fantastic. Baphomet loves metal.
-The smashing of the Glenn Beck Pinata was a spectacle that will stay in the minds of our attendees for a very, very long time.
-Sleazy E was excellent in the roll of host and the costume contest was a huge hit.
-The No Talent Contest was cut short when a participant volunteered to have someone carve SWELLCO into his back with a knife. Did I say that? Yes I did. Talk about a show stopper, who can top that?

The bad that no one saw.
-The dressing room room had been converted into a storage closet during the Khyber renovations. Have you ever seen 8 performers trying to get ready in a 5′x2′ standing room only space?
-I forgot the batteries to the video camera on the charger at home. That’s right. No video for the Video Circus. Some of the best performances our people have ever done, and we have NO video. I was so angry that I felt like stabbing a young boy in the restroom.
-Our John Holmes impersonator couldn’t find his mustache. No one else seemed to be concerned by this. But I sobbed like a little girl. Details are everything.
-Charles Baphomet’s private jet was was 3 hours late due to the weather and they had reserved him  a common room instead of the presidential suite at the Sofitel.
-I also forgot the Wolf Pee at home. No auction for ritual magic. People were pissed.
-One of the Bukkake Mime Experimental Dancers forgot her ID and I had to grovel at the feet of the door man (not employed by us) to let her in.
-While Aimi Shizuoka & Mariko Yoshida (the stars of Two Girls, One Cup) showed up, Tila Tequila, Kim Kardashian & Pastor Fred Phelps did not attend.
-A crazed blacked out drunk girl dressed as Alex the Droog tried rushing the door and was evicted a whooping 6 times.
-A young boy was stabbed to death in the bathroom and we had to sneak his corpse down the back stairs. My assistant Jak was up all night sawing bones.
-We had hung the Glenn Beck pinata up on display and the head snapped off prematurely. In the storage closet dressing room, the girls had to conduct emergency surgery on the dummy, before they smashed it to pieces.
-After nearly a year of constantly riding and hounding Louise, she snapped upon my delivering a flurry of “I told you that would happens”  over the pinata. She lunged at me and clawed my face so badly that I required 6 stitches.

After it was all said and done, I was exhausted, emotionally spend and hungover.  I fled town and sequestered myself and my lovely first wife Bunny Fox Brown in the Chelsea Hotel for three days where I smeared butter on my genitals and ate buckets of crab meat.

I want to thank Artistic Director Louise LaTease, Assistant Artistic Director Keycifer Black, Operational Manager Mr. Black, my Assistant Jak, Photographer Clayton Sweeney, Door Girl Helen Harper, Richie the Khyber Pass manager, “Foundation X”, DJ GR/EG, Sleazy E, Lord James of Blackheath, the Bukkake Mime Experimental Dance Troupe, Needles Jones, all the Swellco & Swellco go-go girls and performers and all of the zealots who are down for our cause. After pulling off this, another soul tainting, genuinely bad idea.

But most importantly I want to thank Swellco & Swellco International Board Member Charles Baphomet and our corporate masters for the great honor of employment. Your employee assets eagerly await the opportunity to aid in your profit.

-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Create, Subvert, Dominate

Please stand by as the staff of the Swellco & Swellco Video Circus picks up the pieces and recovers from the savage events of the Baphomet birthday bash. We will be back shortly.

Nothing is Real

Join the Circus

The Staff is getting ready for the party

Alright bitches, if you’ve gotten this far, we guess you really must be down for the cause. We guess you deserve a little bit of the devil’s fun.

Location: 2nd floor of the Khyber Pass Pub 56 S. 2nd Street
Password: Tubal Cain
If you don’t know it, you don’t get in.

Yes there is sideshow, yes there is burlesque, yes we have a furrie fandom zoo for you to play in, yes we invited Pastor Fred Phelps & Kim Kardashian*, yes there is mad metal spinning by Hessian Aggression DJ GR/EG, but wait… there is more.

Needles Jones is going to be singing Happy Birthday Mr. Baphomet in his Marilyn best and serving some free penis cake.

The hot & sexy Bukkake Mime Experimental Dance Troupe is going to be blowing your mind… all over their faces.

There is the No Talent Contest and the most Inappropriate Costume Contest officiated by Sleazy E. You could win some cash and prizes.

Oh, and then there is the life size Glenn Beck Pinata. For a corporate subsidiary created to study subversive mind control, Glenn Beck just seems like a great offering to the dark lords. For a sneak peak, check out the video above.

*celebrity invitations have not yet received an RSVP

I’m sorry I missed your birthday Tommy Lee.

A belated birthday wish to Mister Tommy Lee, another year gone by and the sex, drugs, rock and roll have all kept you in pristine perfection. You have permission to beat me, hard, for not receiving your birthday cake in titty shape properly. What are you now? 23? Maybe in your pants. I do not care about your dong size, or age Mister Lee. I just thoroughly enjoy how you look in a cage in my basement, while all of my attractive female friends throw cookies and crackers in between the bars and poke you with sticks. OH. you will sing to us , the devils music. Play dress up too.

I can thank him for helping to aid our generations obsession with sex, drugs, and devils music. Without the Crue and the Mayhem, where would we be? Still listening to the Backstreet boys. Oh, my bad. Some of you were NSYNCers. Bah. Hiss. Tommy would never have stood for this.

And on this note, I leave you with one of my favorites. Boy, did it work for them.

Take me to the top, and take off my top Tommy!

Keycifer Black (Swellco & Swellco 69428c)

You know our works

Oct. 29th: Swellco & Swellco Presents

Baphomet’s Celebrity Birthday Bash Masquerade Dance Party

& Emergency Preparedness Drill

Swellco & Swellco International Board Member Charlie Baphomet is having a birthday and you MAY be invited!

Because he is visiting his mistress in Philadelphia, the Video Circus is required to throw the dark lord a star studded party worthy of a world class executive.

This Party is going to be so exclusive that it isn’t even open to the public.
Guest list only- must RSVP

So much exciting birthday activities and fun are planned that you may just shit.

End Times Fashion Show!
Human Petting Zoo!
Champagne Bottle Service!
Red Carpet VIP Guest Lists!
Sacrificial Lamb!
Guinness World Record attempt at cutting the worlds largest penis shaped birthday cake!
Gay Mohammed Piñata!
Cannibal Buffet!
Lee Harvey Oswald Impersonator!
Balloon Animals, face painting and Jugglers!
Live Performances by the Swellco & Swellco Dancers, the Bukkake Mimes Experimental Dance Company and Rick Astley!

Special Invited guests
Pastor Fred Phelps!
Stars of the viral video sensation, Two Girls, One Cup, Aimi Shizuoka & Mariko Yoshida!
Reality Television Star’s Tia Tquila & Kim Kardashian!
Failed Child Actor Timmy Reynolds!

Also Posthumously Celebrating the Birthdays of:
Ray Kroc Oct. 10th!
Aleister Crowley Oct. 12th!
Friedrich Nietzsche Oct.18th!
& Brett Favre Oct. 10th!

More Details Soon!

Louise LaTease & Keycifer Black have been promoted as Artistic Directors of the permanent Swellco & Swellco Video Circus troupe

Swellco & Swellco is proud to announce two big promotions in the Video Circus family on the heels of the decision to expand our operation. Systems Administrator Louise LaTease has been chaired to fill the Artistic Director position for the permanent Video Circus Troupe. Office Associate Keycifer Black has been promoted to Assistant Artistic Director for the new troupe as well. Both employee assets have shown great growth and commitment through the developing phase of the Video Circus test project.

All casting and creative control have been handed two these to very able bodies for the permanent troupe which will be regularly performing live at various venues, and on video at our test facilities and palatial armed compound in the scenic Kensington neighborhood of Philadelphia.  Their first job is to organize talent for the private birthday party of Swellco & Swellco International board member Charles Baphomet on Oct. 29th.

Running a permanent troupe is no easy task, but Swellco &  Swellco has access to the very best employee assets.  Louise and Keycifer are about to discover the wild world of middle management and all the thrills and joys that comes with it.

When it comes to The Swellco & Swellco Video Circus, they are the HNIC #1 and #2 who say FTW while they’re TCB. Be sure to drop them a line and congratulate them on this new journey they are about to embark on.

Systems Administrator Louise LaTease has been promoted to Artistic Director of the Video Circus

Office Associate Keycifer Black has been promoted to Assistant Artistic Director of the Video Circus.