Turn that frown upside down

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

To be “mentally” reconditioned means that Swellco & Swellco’s Video Circus process “quickens” (or makes alive) our numb mind. When a consumer believes in the process of the Video Circus, trusting us alone to encourage all perversions- then Swellco & Swellco come’s into one’s mind in the form of a new and better reality.

It’s always been my contention that art should be dangerous, or at least incite. Many would confuse that statement with shocking. By incite, I mean jolting, forcing viewers out of the numbed comma most wander around in. I guess shocking would be a better word, if shocking didn’t already have the connotations of being a cop out. There is no room left for safe art, basic warm fuzzy ascetics just don’t count, you have to get the viewer thinking, debating. You have to force them out of their complacency to do this.

Now all pet lovers grip your seats because I’m going to talk about one of PETA’s most wanted; Belgian artist Wim Delvoye and his tattooed pigs. Delvoye started tattooing pig skins in the early 90′s, then decided to move on to tattooing live pigs. The “Art Farm” was started by him in China where there were no pesky animal rights laws or protesters and he began working on his “living art investment.” Raising the pigs, tattooing them through their lives as the skin stretched and grew. Art buyers can purchase the pigs as breathing art, slaughter them and stretch the hide or taxidermy them as a sculpture. This work sparks a severe reaction in everyone. The list of issues and debates the Art Farm provokes/sparks/jolts/incites/shocks people into is so long that I won’t even get into it. Regardless of whether or not you think he is a genius or a criminal, Delvoye has made you think. At least for a second.

The Art Farm is just a tiny fraction of this modern masters work, be sure to check out his site

-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Photos courtesy of http://www.wimdelvoye.be/

So, I’m in the grocery store the other day. I went in to buy a tomato. Just one tomato. I go to the produce section where I like to squeeze the fruit. Now, I’m not just talking picky, like old lady who squeezes all the fruit. I’m talking about choking that fucker, grimace and grunt, until people are staring and your wife slaps your hand and makes you go stand in the canned goods section until she realizes you are rolling baked beans under people’s feet and security is about to be called… that kinda squeeze.

So anyways, I’m eyeing this melon and remember that a couple weeks ago, an old friend mis- reminisced an incident where I fucked a melon back in high school. She thought it was me, but it was really a couple of my friends who had done it.

I am now filled with incredible sadness. What was wrong with me? Why hadn’t I fucked that melon? I could have, but I didn’t. Now it’s too late. I can’t copy two fucktard punk rock kids filled with 8 hits of acid 20 years later. At the time, I just sat there trying to feel up one of their girlfriends under the table while choking back the bourbon vomit; I guess I was just too uptight for cantaloupe love. I’ll go to my grave knowing that I never fucked that melon.

- Jimi Jam
Swellco & Swellco #23234b

Create,
Subvert,
Dominate,
Swellco & Swellco

Create,
Subvert,
Dominate,
Swellco & Swellco

Create,
Subvert,
Dominate,
Swellco & Swellco

You are next.

Photos courtesy of myfavoritenakedgirls.tumblr.com & fuckyeahtrippyimages.tumblr.com

Subvert: The second tenant of The Swellco & Swellco Video Process.
sub·vert (s?b-vûrt’) tr.v.  sub·vert·ed, sub·vert·ing, sub·verts
1. To destroy completely; ruin: “schemes to subvert the liberties of a great community” (Alexander Hamilton).
2. To undermine the character, morals, or allegiance of; corrupt.
3. To overthrow completely: “Economic assistance … must subvert the existing … feudal or tribal order” (Henry A. Kissinger). See Synonyms at overthrow.

While The Subversive Subliminal Video Process conditioning’s first mandate is to CREATE a new world by altering one’s perspective and perception of the current reality, the second step coincides hand and hand with the first. Subversion of reality is necessary in order to re-sculpt one’s world view and break from the reality all consumers find themselves trapped in. It is the Video Circus Consumers responsibility and duty to undermine all things deemed “normal” and rally and praise all things unusual. If it is bendable, bend it. If it can be broken, break it. Any fabric in society that is flammable should and must be set ablaze. We are all imprisoned in this physical world, it is our duty to resist and rebel against our jailer.

Photos courtesy of http://gunsoverknives.tumblr.com & http://rebelchild-rock-n-roll-wild.tumblr.com

We are staying down and dirty with the new masters. Peter Hudson is another Burning Man super star. Since 2000 he has been unveiling large scale zoetrope sculptures that drop viewers jaws, regardless of how many magic mushrooms they consume. Now you’re going to ask, what the fuck is a zoetrope? So here is a brief explanation.

How it works:
The zoetrope is the third major optical toy, after the thaumatrope and phenakistoscope, that uses the persistence of motion principle to create an illusion of motion. It consists of a simple drum with an open top, supported on a central axis. A sequence of hand-drawn pictures on strips of paper are placed around the inner bottom of the drum. Slots are cut at equal distances around the outer surface of the drum, just above where the picture strips were to be positioned.

To create an illusion of motion, the drum is spun; the faster the rate of spin, the smoother the progression of images. A viewer can look through the wall of the zoetrope from any point around it, and see a rapid progression of images. Because of its design, more than one person could use the zoetrope at the same time.

Blah blah blah. Sounds good, and when you watch one of the old paper drawings spinning around, you think “oh that’s quaint.” Its a clever precursor to animation. But when you are standing in the desert looking at three story metal monkeys swinging from from a tree, suddenly it’s not an antiquated gimmick anymore.

These videos speak for themselves.

Check out his site

- James “Jimi Jam” Jarvis
Swellco & Swellco #23234b

Uncle Wheat Toast claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Family thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

Dance for Pappa

DEAR UNCLE TOAST
My husband, “Pee Pee,” and I are in our early 40s with two young hogs in our barn. I know that sounds like bliss but I’ve been having a problem with my father-in-law- my entire marriage. He expects Pee Pee to dance for him on weekends. As it is, they already cuddle with each other all week long. I try to get my father-in-law really drunk on shnapps, but still won’t go home to his wife on weekends — he’d rather spend time eating fake crab meat and watching his son dance.

I think Pee Pee should be with our hogs and me on the weekends. When I complain to him about it, Pee Pee accuses me of eating his soul. This Saturday morning when I objected, Pee Pee loaded the shot gun and on his way out he said over his shoulder, “See you tonight dead corpse bitch!” It’s impossible to make plans for the weekends because Pee Pee won’t agree to anything until he checks with his dad first to see if HE wants to watch him dance.

Am I selfish to want my husband to slaughter our delicious hogs and feed me burnt pork meat all weekend? After all, his dad already sees him dance, I never do.  Please help me, Uncle Toast. The tension in my pants is unbearable. — DESPERATE WIFE IN TENNESSEE

DEAR DESPERATE WIFE IN TENNESSEE
I have to start off by saying you are a desperate wife in Tennessee… and that gets me hot. You need to brush your tooth, grab those hogs and baby, you and I will sit up sucking on your pork fat and pigs feet bone marrow until my blisters start to show. 267-259-2147 (cell) And now a gratuitous ass bouncing for your pleasure.

-Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c

Need advice about your baby’s momma? Trying to figure out what that growth is?
Submit a question by email uncletoast @ swellco2000.com
or call the Uncle Wheat Toast Help-Line (571) 31-TOAST /86278

He’s pretty well in the mainstream spotlight these days, that is assuming you are into watching dude channels like Spike or G4, or if you’re into ultimate fighter cage fighting. (and  hey who isn’t right?) But Kimbo Slice came into prominence with a series of brutal viral street fight videos that swept youtube. This is a different kind of underground from wacky circus performers and drag queens. This is brutal, violent and pure machismo. While his agents are clearly trying to clean him up for middle America prime time, Kimbo Slice exudes the real deal. He thrived and ruled a world that most don’t want to acknowledge, and most don’t want to admit they are drawn to. We live in a time where we are told we are civilized, where we are told gladiators don’t exist. The dark reality that Kimbo represents is that no matter how you dress up our humanity in the fine linens of society, that fabric is always ready to tear. I dig smoking a spliff and watching Kimbo kick the shit out of some hapless back alley contender, on my laptop, where its safe and I can tell myself it’s just entertainment.

Be sure to check out his site

- James “Jimi Jam” Jarvis
Swellco & Swellco #23234b

Photos courtesy of kimbo305.com

Oh, Gerald. Not again!

Because they’re so important to us and to our creating a positive experience for our customers, we’ll let a few members of our staff introduce themselves. Today we’d like to introduce HelpDesk Technician Gerald “Lil’ Stinker” Zepaldi  (Swellco & Swellco 24543b)

Gerald “lil’ stinker” Zepaldi is a HelpDesk Technician for Swellco & Swellco. In this position, he is responsible for troubleshooting customers’ personal questions over the telephone or in person. Gerald enjoys working with people and has a background with phone sex which assists him in his role at Swellco & Swellco. Gerald obtained his Associates Degree in Network Systems Administration from DeVry University in Colorado Springs. Prior to that, Gerald worked as a greeter at Target for 6 years where he never once was late or missed a day of work. A Jersey City native, Gerald is a self-professed foot fetishist and also enjoys rollerblading and spending time indoors.