Quitting your job doesn’t set an example. 

It’s all over the web right now that Sasha Grey was reading to Compton 1st graders. Everyone is pissed at the ex powerhouse porn star turned out of work actress and indie photographer dream model for being near kids. Will some one please think of the children?

I am generally very pro porn star in that I regularly masturbate to them. But for once I’ve got to stand with the priests, football coaches and Jesus on this one, I think clearly, Sasha Grey, the girl who pioneered double anal ATM has finally stepped over the line.

The fact is, there is just no room for reading any more. Books are expensive, unnecessary and designed to make you feel stupid with pages and pages of words that don’t mean anything if you set them on fire and throw them at cars from a pedestrian overpass. What was Sasha Grey trying to prove by reading? Was she trying to make those children feel stupid? Was she like “look at me, I’m a hot chick with no gag reflex who knows things, blah blah blah and smart stuff.” Probably, and thats not setting an example for anyone doomed to prison or Walmart.

I feel like Sasha Grey is no role model, she QUIT doing porn. Orally servicing “job creators” is one of the only industries Americans have left. If Sasha Grey wants to make a difference, she needs to stand tall by getting back on her knees and show our youth what they have to look forward too.

Lets try and remember her when she wasn’t rubbing her literacy in our faces. 

-Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c

Photos courtesy of http://sashagrey.com

Like any little girl growing up in the 80′s, I played with My Little Ponies. I had every color, shape, and size my parents could afford; some had rhinestones for eyes and rainbow manes, some had little propellers affixed to their chests so their tails would spin as if they could fly, others even wet themselves. I didn’t discriminate against whether they were unicorns or had wings… I just liked ponies.

But, just like me and every other little who girl used to play with these toys, it seems like the ponies have grown up. In fact, 2008 marked their 25th anniversary. So that means they’re, what, about 28 years old now? Perfect. And what behavior is one to expect from a pony in her late twenties that has been in the the spotlight her entire life? Debauchery, a loss of innocence, and disgusted mothers everywhere. Pretty soon, we’ll be reading about how Pinkie Pie got caught stealing an expensive necklace from a Glitter Castle while on the way to Chief’s house for an all-night coke binge and presumably Village People-themed gang bang with the rest of the Big Brother Ponies.

Well… as far as I know, that hasn’t happened yet. But it does seem that the girls have been, ahem, getting around. All you need to do nowadays is search for “pony hentai” or “sexy pony” and your browser is flooded with images of these good-lil-ponies-gone-bad. I want to be disgusted; these were my childhood friends growing up and I guarded my collection with my life. But let’s be honest… it’s pretty fucking hot.

It seems that porn isn’t the only thing these busy girls have been up to. Check out another one of their disgusting, yet amazing, contributions to the pony-loving perverts of the world below. Also, some disturbingly hot and very, very naughty ponies. I think they turned out just fine.

-Louise LaTease
Swellco 13493a

It’s Valentines day, the day to celebrate love… It is just as fashionable to bitch about Valentines day as it is to celebrate it, eh-hem, Miss LaTease. I think I want to go another direction. Today I want to profess my adoration to my pretend girlfriend, Belladonna.

Belladonna isn’t the playboy “girl next door,” she’s the girl who lives next door. A cute girl with a sweet smile and an innocence about her. She doesn’t appear to be unattainable, she feels like the girl anyone might have taken to the prom.

What enamors me the most about her, is her ability to retain that innocence.
Most seasoned sex workers have the dead eyes. That long piercing stare, as if they are looking straight through you. I don’t believe the asshole adage that sex workers are dead inside, I do believe they are armored and camouflaged beyond a normal mortals ability to enter. If the eyes are the gate way to the soul, the gateway to a porn star is guarded and closed. However, this isn’t the case with Belladonna, years in the adult business have gone by and still, there is a twinkle in her eye.

The story goes that she was raised in a strict mormon family and had barely had sex when she found herself in her first scene- rough anal. Her second scene- a brutal anal gang bang. She became known for doing things most high end porn stars would say no to- rough face fucking, double anal, fisting. All the while, she STILL retained a bouncy air. She explores some of the darkest, most taboo aspects of sexuality both as a star and a director, and that twinkle is STILL there.

While many interpret Belladonna’s happy vibe for  ditziness, I have a sneaking suspicion that she is a very complicated woman. Because of this, I dedicate my sappiest of Valentines Day wishes to that girl that can take on 20 cocks at once and never loose her smile.

Check out Belladonna at her site
-Kevin Dalton
Swellco & Swellco 83473t

Photos courtesy of enterbelladonna.com

So, we sat down for our meeting to discuss the possibility of making the launch of our upcoming monthly No Talent Dance Party as a Benefit for Jesse Lee, a popular Burning Angel girl. Louise wasn’t familiar with them. Mr. Black described Burning Angel perfectly. He said, “Burning Angel is to Suicide Girls what Hustler is to Playboy.”

It was the perfect analogy. One is glossy, easily digestible and unoffensive enough for upstanding squares to admit to enjoying, they produce pretty, non-explicit photos and pretty softcore film. The other is gritty, pervy, pushes the envelope and never has problems with stirring up controversy. they do graphic photos and release hardcore. Now which one do you think we prefer? Then Black added, “But Joanna Angel is much nicer to look at than Larry Flint. She’s the reigning queen of indy smut.”

But I think that’s not giving her enough credit. I believe Joanna Angel isn’t just the reigning queen of indy porn,  I would go so far as to say she is all but responsible for it. This beautiful punk rock goddess didn’t just start manufacturing smut, she helped create a sexually charged d.i.y. fuck community that created countless imitators. She’s not just a pretty face, she is a strong, independent entrepreneur and that makes her 10 times hotter than any other adult star.

Be sure to Check out both Joanna’s site and the Burning Angel site
-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Photos courtesy of BurningAngel.com

Lately I’ve been fixated on Real Dolls. They’re scary, fascinating and hot all at the same. I’m sure there are psychiatrists that would have something to say about someone wanting to possess an inanimate woman that you “build” to your specifications. In this day and age, there are still people who consider watching porn or even masturbating to be a form of infidelity. What would those poor repressed souls do if they found a Real Doll sitting on their partners couch. But I think the novelty appeal is wider than most want to acknowledge.  I believe every man, and some women, are secretly fascinated by the Real Dolls. They raise so many questions.

Is fucking a Real Doll cheating?
Can people become emotionally attached to them as the urban goes?
If I opened up a Real Doll brothel, would I get arrested for prostitution?

The prices are dropping fast, (down to $5000 from $10,000 when they came out) they are now making men Real Dolls, she male Real Dolls, alien Real Dolls and Anime Real Dolls.  Soon, they will be affordable for the average pervert to buy. But by then, will it even be considered perverted?

Be sure to check out the Real Doll site

- Jimi Jam
Swellco & Swellco #23234b

Photos courtesy of realdoll.com

The decision to make a blog category about porn stars has been one fraught with internal and external turmoil. While we will admit to the willingness to post these blogs for the obvious additional traffic such content brings, I really do stand by my stated belief that adult content is a valid source of interest to the public, fringe or otherwise. Still, in this day and age, people don’t admit publicly that they know who these girls are, but we all know that is our society’s collective lie. Even with that said, the Video Circus isn’t about “society.”  We have no use for THAT world, THAT reality, here we create our own. Here there is no rating system and we believe those fantasies down in the farthest corner of our minds are the places we want to be while we wait it out to the grave. But even with that as a our stated goal, we have gotten hate mail from strangers, complaints from friends and even a staff member leaving because it offended her better sensibilities. Ironically, the majority of the written content in these posts have had virtually nothing to do the girls they feature. (This one included) but are pre-occupied and dominated by the debate over whether or not they should be written at all. Are we are being exploitive? is that industry exploitive? Are the women themselves exploiting… Regretfully the compromise was made to fold the “Fuck Saint” category into the “Lords  of the Underground.” But this led to complaints that by placing beautiful whores into the same category as clowns, sideshow freaks, wrestlers and soft core pinup girls was some how belittling the art of these fine people.

Well I am making an executive decision allowed as mandated by Swellco & Swellco Corporate’s funding protocol of the Video Circus. I am re-instating the Fuck Saint Category and we ARE continuing to blur the distinction of pornography and art. I do this because I believe that sexual energy is actually the purest source of motivation, inspiration and creativity and I love naked dirty women and the things they do.

You the reader and viewer can decide whether the video circus is just a cesspool of man’s darkest urges or a complete celebration of the farthest fringe of the creative process.

Oh, and Carmella Bing is beautiful and super dirty.

-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Swellco & Swellco International gave a wide birth in the development of the Video Circus website. Initially the thought was that we should use the non-video entries simply as filler. If your going to have filler, make it what people want to see. And what do people want to see online? Sex and porn. All this technology and advancement boiled down to our animal instincts. So we started putting up fluff pages of beautiful sex industry workers. But almost right off the bat I started getting complaints internally. One person quit early on, so offended by a such a blatant decision to exploit the already exploited. We’ve heard concerns from the video performers that there would be an association with them and porn. (No one in the test videos have yet to remove their tops) There has even been criticism by readers that in the “lords of the underground” category, we have “real” performers and artists next to girls who fuck for money.

Most people would agree with me that nearly everything we do is for sex or to attract the opposite sex. It is our overwhelming motivator. The fact that the web is really just a massive porn delivery system lends itself to my argument. I would argue that a porn is really any other movie or form of entertainment stripped down to it’s prime essence. I would contend that fucking is every other act of living stripped down to it’s final goal. We fight to fuck, we make money to fuck, we build companies and nations to fuck. We die to fuck.

That being said, a sex industry worker should really be hailed as our greatest stars. They DO what Megan Fox and Christina Agulara only allude to. But they aren’t, right? Instead they represent the ultimate contradiction and hypocrisy in all of us. Here are some photos of Faye Runaway. This petite young Heather Gram look alike is beautiful and instantly charismatic by any standard. She has that instant girlfriend charm with an earnest sweetness in her eyes. She is clearly not the hardened sex worker pro. (yet) Faye Runaway is a girl that any guy would beam to have on his arm. Guys watch her fuck and fantasize about being with her. But because she gives her audience what we all want, she is a whore, not a star and no “normal” guy would ever date her. Annette really said it best, regarding this contradiction in an early entry. A porn star is a “saint, (a martyr) who gives her body up to the world for others pleasure.” Yesterday James wrote about the Lizard Man, stating that he was the ultimate outsider because he can “never go back.” Well Image Google Faye Runaway with the work safe mode off and then riddle me this, can she ever go back?

-R.E. Brown
Swellco & Swellco 64312b

Photos courtesy of
blacksonblondes.com
alsscan.com
bangbros.com

So I’m hangin out and talking with Squid and he’s all like what about little people would you bang a little person and I’m all hell yeah I would cuz hot and hiegth got nothin to do with each other. I even own dvds of Bridget the Midget the hot little person that’s always on Howard stern. Then Annie is all like I can’t believe we are doing posts about porn and all how it’s bad and shit and then she’s bitching about how she went to film school. I’m all, well if you went to film school why don’t you make some pornos and make some real money. maybe then you wouldn’t be a hatter on hot midgets. Squid tells her a bunch of stuff about how the porn stars fits into the Robert’s big master plan and how she should watch what she says. She’s all this is a bush league job and she’s going to quit. Then he’s all like how are y ou going to quit when this ain’t even a real company and  you’re all high on drugs. It was all bullshit cause all I gotta say is I would definantly bang a midget especially bridget the midget and that’s all I got to say on this now.

check out her site and see that I’m right.

-Kevin Dalton Swellco & Swellco 83473t

Photos courtesy of http://bridgetthemidget.com

Swellco & Swellco is commited in the fight against bestiality

Swellco & Swellco will be holding an anti-bestiality educational outreach seminar at the Rittenhouse Square Days Inn, Philadelphia PA on Dec. 23rd, 2009. Join our round table panel for an afternoon of lectures and discussions on the rising problem of bestiality in our nations communities and ways to educate and prevent this abnormal practice. Other activities for the day include a hot dog eating contest and a full petting zoo. Featured speakers include, indicted Allentown Area School Director Tony Randitoli, adult film stars Courtney Cummz and Randy Spears as well as television celebrity Gary Coleman. For more information please contact us by email or by phone 1 (877) 270-8788

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Swellco2000.com’s own lovable Uncle Wheat Toast (Swellco & Swellco 54239c) claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Swellco & Swellco thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

Slut.

DEAR UNCLE TOAST
I have a sister-in-law who I believe is selling off her children — but not in the usual black market white slavery way most people sell children. Not a week goes by that I don’t see her kids standing on a corner with a sign saying “Great deal, low price, will eat worms.” She seems to be happy or feels “important” when eating meat, selling children or talking to someone with a medical degree. Other relatives think she’s an exceptionally cunning business woman. I think she’s sick, but I’m not sure whom to contact. She does not think she has a problem. Meanwhile, my brother sits idly by — or accompanies her to find more children. Am I wrong, or should some type of authority or social service be notified?
-HALF EMPTY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR HALF EMPTY IN NEW JERSEY,
I hate to tell you but there is nothing wrong with selling children. Why, if there was no baby black market, what would rich eunuchs do if they want man servants? Who would work in sweat shops? Why, without white slavery we wouldn’t have Oliver Twist or Little Orphan Annie. What kind of world would that be? Probably a pretty gloomy one. Half Empty in New Jersey, you need to face your own fear of intimacy, give your sister-in-law a hug, drink a beer, fuck shit up old school, give me a hand job, and maybe just maybe, you should sell off a child.
And now a gratuitous nudie dance.
-Uncle Wheat Toast Swellco & Swellco 54239c

Need advice about your baby’s momma? Trying to figure out what that growth is?
Submit a question by email uncletoast @ swellco2000.com
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