This entry is brought to you courtesy of Swellco & Swellco’s month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”

Christianity is a religion based on guilt, that’s just a given. I mean, good god, the symbol is a tortured mutilated corpse nailed to a wooden post. “He died for YOUR sins. He gave up his life to save YOU. And there you sit touching yourself. ” Sexual gratification is so strongly tied to negative feelings in this country. The whole religion is pretty much based on the thought that if it makes you feel good, it’s bad.

Enter Divine Interventions. I think when most people talk about Divine Interventions sex toys, the image of a cliched goth chick comes to mind, dressed as a nun and acting like a spiritual equivalent of an angry adolescent. But considering how twisted the psyche is for most devout Christians, I think Divine Intervention’s clientele extends far beyond the shock value set.

I say, show me a good red blooded dyed in the wool faithful catholic girl who hasn’t masturbated with a crucifix once in her life and I’ll show you a priest who succeeded in being celibate.  But while the general shape and metaphor is right with a crucifix, it’s still not a great fit (square peg, round hole)

Divine Intervention physically and mentally smooths out the process, the source of your pleasure IS the source of your guilt. It’s the perfect sex toy for self loathing-Jesus loving girls everywhere. But it’s not  just for the ladies. I’m sure there are dozens of closeted Christian right gays walking around with baby Jesus butt plugs in their asses reminding them that all that prostate stimulation is a long, hard, sweaty hot ride to damnation.

Be sure to stock up at their site before you get struck by lightning.

-Annette Garcia
Swellco & Swellco 54823a