Since When Have Books Been This Much Fun?

I’ve never had to read; my life is already the most exciting story I could ever tell.

I am the modern Byronic hero:  mysteriously damaged, charged with a renewable battery of sexual energy & a lust for anything that will satiate & destruct.  I am the anti-heroine & I am winter & I am coming for you.

I can shoot an arrow straight, wield a sword without fear, inflict pain with precision & pleasure with abandon all while carrying a 100 pound Louis Vuitton Steamer Trunk.

My destrier has no name, neither did my father’s.  The black stallion is our family’s mark, it’s long, thick mane shining like a terror you cannot grasp, slick in the daylight, a braided coal mine crashing nightmare by night.

I do not play games.  I am at odds with Life & Death & I look them in the eye every time I look at my reflection.  I tell Death “not today” & invite Life into the red room of pleasure.

Books are worthless to a lady like me, who hungers to sit upon the throne of satisfaction, driving forward, excelled in existence.

Books bore me with their allusion, alliteration & sizzling onomatopoeia.

Why bother reading when living comes so easy?

Easy:   “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies,” said Jojen. “The man
who never reads lives only one.”

Get the most bang for your life’s buck & make your story 50 shades of interesting – read the book, see the show, watch the movie, but always live the life.

-Puss Bainbridge (Swellco & Swellco #88321C)

Swellco & Swellco employs the brightest minds & the finest bodies … hellbent on world domination.

Photos courtesy of  http://fuckyeahgirlsreading.tumblr.com 

Quotes:  http://.georgerrmartin.com

All this traveling is giving me nose bleeds…City to city securing the necessities for the Party of The Great Wrath is no small task. Hell, I only speak two languages and my first very poorly. My traveling companion only speaks French and I don’t, not a lick of it. The one thing we do share is the unequivocal rush of cheap thrills. We find each others companionship to be suitable.

It is straight up stupid to calculate the odds of survival during the shuddering last moments. Perhaps it is better to embrace it and burn through your resources like cash at an Indian Casino. The psychologically catastrophic event must be embraced for what it is…you will gain nothing but pure exhilaration. The excitement of knowing that in the very final minutes you are only one of many, within a crowd, united by the coming indifference. All identity will fade, as we, the great unwashed, will spiral in unison…And in the final minutes, suffering under “The Great Dark Hand,” we are all only as strong as our vices.

- El Chacal (Swellco & Swellco 33259c)

On Wednesday, January 26, 2011 the final remaining half of the Louvin Brothers, Charlie Louvin succumbed to pancreatic cancer.

Formerly a Gospel singer, Charlie and his brother expanded their musical repertoire when the money men convinced them “you can’t sell tobacco with Gospel music”.

At Swellco & Swellco we concur.

In any case… now you know what those ‘Big Black Wings’ are Charlie.

See you down there one day, guys.

-Kevin Dalton
Swellco & Swellco 83473t