Big League Snack Attack

1/3 cup butter

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

1/4 teaspoon garlic salt

1/4 teaspoon onion salt

6 cups unsalted popped popcorn*

1 cup thin pretzel sticks

1/2 cup salted, roasted peanuts

1. Toss together the popcorn, pretzel sticks and peanuts in a large bowl.
2. Melt the butter and stir in the seasonings.
3. Drizzle butter/seasoning mixture over popcorn mixture, stirring to coat well.
4. Spread the mixture in a large, shallow baking pan and put it in a preheated 250°F (120°C) oven to bake for 45 minutes. Stir with a wooden spoon every 10 minutes while it’s baking

Makes 8 cups.

*1 ounce of unpopped popcorn kernels (2 tablespoons household measure) makes approximately 4 cups of popped popcorn.

Nutritional Information:(based on 1-cup serving)

Total Calories 136.4; Fat – 9.4 g; Carbohydrate 10.7g; Sugar .5 g; Fiber 1.6 g; Protein 3.6 g; Sodium 273.2 g; Cholesterol 7.7 mg.

Recipe provided courtesy of The Popcorn Board.

You Know Our Work.

Photos courtesy of Philip Cohen

There is an amazing trend at the Swellco & Swellco live events. The trend towards complete and total bedlam seems to be making a steady upward spiral. Tuesday’s first Cinema Barbare Night would be a case in point.

The BarBare film series was designed to be our “sleeper” night. A steady, low (er) key evening where a couple of our staff members would perform and we would all watch a new indie horror flick. For Tuesday, we had planned to have Dirty sing one song, Louise & Keycifer do one dance each. Dan.5 would spin some killer cock rock and metal. We would have a quick costume competition. We would watch the film and drink whiskey. This would be a chill, get to know us night while we continued to plan larger public service seminars and organize the soon to come Swellco & Swellco (live) Circus.

What we didn’t expect was having so many movie goers that we ran out of chairs, or for that matter, places to stand. We didn’t expect 12 bloody hoes, 2 gigolos and a zombie tranny hooker to show up. We didn’t expect that the competition would descend into a strip off, with us chasing girls around trying to cover their private parts with masking tape. (the only tape on hand) We didn’t expect a spontaneous nearly pornographic girl on girl bar wide make out session amongst contestants and audience members alike. We didn’t expect that the Ritual Magic Wolf Pee raffle would turn into an on stage urine drink off amongst audience members. We didn’t expect it but it did… and boy what a party it turned into.

We want to thank the Twisted Twins for allowing us to be the first to show their movie to a very appreciative Philadelphia. Staff members Dirty Diamond, Louise LaTease & Keycifer were amazing as always, earning themselves a “Do Not Downsize” pass for the month at Swellco & Swellco International. Our very exhibitionistic costume contestants and the people who bought a whopping 300 raffle tickets were also sweet and sweet. The urine drinkers, well… WTF? Seriously?

More photos to follow.

Go Buy this Movie Now Motherfuckers

Dr. Zealot, Helen Harper, Louise LaTease & Vidalia Peach handing out fliers on Frist Friday

At the Video Circus, we value our employee assets and we are always team building in order to create that “family feeling” we are already famous for. Mix in the Swellco & Swellco International mandate that all subsidiaries must engage in community outreach and bang! A fun night out for the staff, getting the word out about our next experiment, the first Cinema Barbare screening of Dead Hooker in a Trunk. R.E. Brown, Mr. Black and the Acid Squid trailed Pimp Daddy Helvis, Dr. Zealot, Helen Harper, Louise LaTease & Vidalia Peach’s attempts at flyering for the Philadelphia Premiere Screening of the Twisted Twin’s Great opus.

If you don’t know about the Premiere Screening and Dance party at Bob & Barbara’s on Sept 14th, you have probably already been stuffed into a trunk.

INFO:

Sept. 14th, 9:30 at Bob & Barbaras Lounge.

$4.00 admission.

Hosted by Dirty Diamond and Live performances by burlesque girls Louise LaTease & Keycifer

Dead hooker costume contest (first prize, a gift card to Passional Boutique)

Raffle for a  jug of Swellco & Swellco ritual brand wolf pee

DJ Dan.5 will be spinning Cock Rock before the screening and at the Go-Go Dance after party.

Make a girl work

Helvis Presley prepares at the home office with a libation.

Louise, Vidalia & Karr, it was a long EL train ride into Old City

The Freaks come out on first Friday

Live Dead Hooker inspired performances by Louise LaTease, Dirty Diamond & Keycifer

Hosted by Dirty Diamond

Presenting the Philadelphia Premiere of the Soska Sisters DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK
Sept. 14th, at Bob & Barbaras Lounge.
9:30 party starts, 10:30 movie starts
$4.00 admission.
Live performances by host Dirty Diamond and burlesque girls Louise LaTease & Keycifer
Dead hooker costume contest
Raffle for a Swellco & Swellco tee shirt & a jug of Swellco & Swellco brand ritual wolf pee.
DJ Dan.5 will be spinning Cock Rock before the screening and at the Go-Go Dance after party.

DJ Dan.5 will be spinning Cock Rock sets at the Dead Hooker Dance Party after the movie

Take a sneak peak at the Twisted Twins brilliant opus Dead Hooker in a Trunk.

The Swellco & Swellco Video Circus office is closed in order to nurse hangovers. We will be back shortly after the pain subsides.

If you don’t know about the brutal now infamous Baby Cheezwits assault at the Swellco & Swellco Anti-Bestialtiy Educational Outreach,  you should.
Since this event started, we have been barraged by hate mail and bible quotes, had the site suspended and even had protest threats.
Come show our dead little baby boy that we won’t tolerate dead baby puppet abuse in Philadelphia.

Sponsored by
Passional Boutique
& Pabst Blue Ribbon

-Party starts at 10:00?-Contest Starts at 11:30?-FIRST PRIZE $100 CASH AND $100 GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR PASSIONAL BOUTIQUE?-Second prize an old shoe full of Dirty Diamond’s used condoms.

-Street clothes or costumes, fully dressed or stripped down, male or female, you do what you need to win.
-No genitalia may be exposed, bring pasties or we will provide duck tape.
-Dj picks the song.
-$5 gets you in and a complimentary can of PBR (While supplies last)
-$3 if you bring a puppet. (Offer excludes finger puppets and paper bags)
-Dope Lyrics and Dope Beats provided by DJ Roofeo
-Hosted by Louise LaTease & Dirty Diamond
-Contest Judged by Needles Jones, Lil’ Steph, Helvis Presley & Uncle Wheat Toast

Get well soon Baby Cheezwits!

The anti-bestiality educational outreach was the Video Circus' first public team building exercise

Photos courtesy of Jim McHugh

Reaching out into the community with organized, purpose based activities will strengthen and bond the ties to your family or team.

Plan age-appropriate recreational activities.

Plan activities that foster the development of family or team members.

Intentionally establish rituals and sex acts that connect family or team members and foster closeness.

Regularly choose challenging activities that stretch each family or team member.

Clarify the purpose of the activity.

Select activities in which participants can acquire a sense of mastery and competence.

Incorporate intellectual and creative elements.

Look for opportunities to promote immoral behavior (e.g., service to the group).

Select activities that will rejuvenate both mind and body.

Keep these basic ideas in mind and the unholy dark lords are sure to reward the efforts of your family or team with unlimited power to corrupt and destroy!

We guess it's not our building to burn

Unfortunately the May 4th Candle Light Vigil and Hip Hop Dance Party has been canceled due to fire safety concerns. The management of Bob & Barbara’s was less than pleased at the prospect of having the Video Circus hand out hundreds of candles and lighters to unruly patrons drunk on Jim Beam and egged on by gangsta rap. Our attempt to ease the concerns by offering to give Uncle Wheattoast an industrial fire extinguisher seemed to only enflame the venues concerns.

Baby Cheezwitts is still in a state of agitated agoraphobia after being targeted by anti-puppet biggots at the March 9th Ant-Bestiality Educational Outreach.  A new re-conceived benefit will be announced shortly.

In the B &B dungeon, Video Circus stars Mr. Deadguy, Miss Rose, Louise L'tease, Miss Key

On March 9th, Swellco & Swellco publicly announced the presence of the Video Circus by reaching out into the community and showing that even cold corporate funded mind control projects can have a heart and make a difference in the community they prey upon.

The Anti-Bestiality Community Educational Outreach Charity Mixer and Heavy Metal Dance party as a whole was a raging success. The bar swelled past capacity with a line stretching down the street.

Dj Metal GR/EG did an outstanding job spinning great metal. As an additional bonus, for some inexplicable reason he also choose to flex his Galleger look alike talents arriving complete with giant hammer. (The Bob & Barbara’s staff took his melon at the door)

A bunny suit adorned Uncle Wheat Toast and Bunny Fox Brown engaged the crowd with anti-bestiality fact sheets and horror stories of bestiality culled from today’s headlines.

From left to right staff writers Acid Squid, R.E. Brown, PR Director the Machine & staff writer Uncle Wheat Toast

The Performances were outstanding. After a heart felt introduction to the evening by Louise L’tease, Miss Key and Uncle Wheat Toast, the madness began.

Needles Jones told a touching story about how he found his first boy crush engaged in intercourse with a goat and then jumped into a three song set including the crowd chanting favorite “Pig Fucker” and his new song “Bestiality, don’t do it” written specifically for the event.

Miss Key came out in a (faux) fur dress and took it all off, only after partially consuming a real cow heart.

Mr. Dead guy brought out Baby Cheesewitts, the corpse baby who also dressed in a bunny suit and they talked to the crowd about where the line should be drawn with pet affections before breaking into song.

Next Miss Rose literally burst onto the stage as a feather adorned voodoo princess and gnawed on chicken.

Louise L’Tease literally shocked the crowd into silence when she did what might be the first ever fury strip tease as she slowly disrobed out of a full bunny suit only to reveal a bikini made of stuffed animals.

Last but not least the extra filthy, extra drunk Dirty Diamond came on stage somewhat unclear on the concept. He trumpeted the joys and importance of gratifying farm animals as an alternative to sex with fat women and then burst into the songs, “I Can’t Fight This Fat Bitch Anymore” and “Girl, get that abortion soon”

Swellco & Swellco Corporate spokesman Dirty Diamond

Unfortunately, the evening did not go without some serious issues.

Immediately following his set, Needles Jones was thrown out of Bob & Barbara’s for briefly passing out in restroom and then attempting to smoke pot at the bar.

Public Relations Director the Machine was slated with the responsibility of providing internal security for an event that had the potential to get out of hand. To insure order was maintained he opted to bring an additional bouncer. Unfortunately they both got shit hammered drunk and provoked a fight with an unsuspecting group of audience members. Being that THEY were the security, nothing was done at the time to quell the altercation. Clearly we have some glitches to fix to ensure our staff does not menace the audience they are meant to protect and entertain.

But this near brawl was not the only act of violence that marred the Swellco & Swellco event. Unfortunately the stand belonging to the lovable Baby Cheeswitts was broken. Clearly this malicious act of vandalism was a direct result of puppet prejudice. Baby Cheeswitts has been severally traumatized and has gone into hiding, his where abouts only known by Mr. Deadguy and his therapist.

Special Thanks to Louise L’tease, Bob Dix and R. E. Brown for conceiving and (dis)organizing such a genuinely bad idea.

Check out the first of several photo sets to come.

Photos courtesy of Alex Ducomb

The staff of the Swellco & Swellco Video Circus is collectively too hung over to get out of bed. We will resume normal hours of operations tomorrow.