“Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” – Henry Kissinger

This entry is brought to you courtesy of Swellco & Swellco’s month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”

For what ever reason, the management felt compelled to hold me captive for days and repeatedly shoot me in the face with a tranquilizer gun. It’s not like I was running or anything, I just laid on the couch in a small room in the basement of the studio. They left me down there with nothing to eat but a mini fridge full of melted frogurt packs and litter bottles of Sunkist. Not that I was even hungry in that state. I just sat there for weeks drooling on myself and every so often someone would come back in and shoot me in the face with another drugged dart. Once I came out of my stupor and Mr. Black was beating me with a giant dildo. I mean, what the fuck? They seem to have gotten bored with it. Today I woke up, un-drugged and came back up stairs.

I digress. It would appears I’ve been down there for a month and almost missed the Female Pussy Project altogether. But I’m no slouch in the brain thinking department and I wanted this last entry to really exemplify the theme. So I’m posting the two things that come to mind when I think of Female Power.

Grandmas with Guns and Smothering Fetish.

Both of theses things scare the shit out of me, and they should scare the shit out of you too. I don’t know who the artist is for the smothering art, because I’m too drunk and I forgot to note it. I am sorry. I am sorry creepy asian guy who drew these pictures, I am sorry Mr. Black who will hit me again with a dildo. Please do not send any crazy gun toting old ladies to shoot me in the face.

Love Toast.

Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c

This entry is brought to you courtesy of Swellco & Swellco’s month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”

R.E. Brown & Uncle Wheat Toast continue their interview with Simone Kross. Want to know what you’ve missed? Check out part one here.

Uncle Wheat Toast: One of the things that fascinates us with you is a very crisp duality that at least appears on the surface. You have established a very credible career as a singer/songwriter and as an often filmed Pro Dom & BDSM model, both at the same time. The obvious gimmick one would expect is a merging of the two; “the singing Dominatrix.” You’ve refrained from this. The world of BDSM by nature is very secretive and underground. By definition, live music is public and outgoing.

With this duality in place, which role do you feel more at home with?

Simone: Have I established a credible music career? Uhmmm I am not sure I have really done that just yet.

R.E.: Credible in our minds.

Simone: I have been working towards that but I don’t have a record deal or anything.I’m not sure what that would entail I am indie and most musicians are able to be independent now. I have yet to cut my record, which I would really like to do and then be able to find a way to distribute it. I have a lot of work to do on the music front. Yes, the obvious gimmick would be to combine the two but hasn’t this already been done? To be honest I make my living as a Pro-Domme and the music is more a side project now if it should flip over that would be interesting. I have been working very hard to balance both the music and my career as a Pro-Domme. Some folks have said that perhaps the people in the music world would frown upon my choice of career as a dominatrix and that I would not succeed as a singer. Whatever, I would rather just say yes, I have been a professional dominatrix and I am also a musician, so what. BDSM is not as secretive as it used to be now that it is all over the internet some people feel it has become more and more mainstream.

In some ways it has and in some ways it has not. If the obvious gimmick is to be the singing dominatrix that just seems so cliché.

Wheat Toast: It would be an absolute cliché.

Simone: Now cliché’s do work and have but I am not singing hard rockin’ music. I think if I was singing hard rock or even metal or punk the dominatrix idea or image could work but I am singing music that is or has a folk country blues flavor. I could try different outfits or looks I don’t think I need to lock into the dominatrix image to sell the music. I think I could even throw out a softer image.

I am actually kind of shy in some ways, I have stage fright and it is difficult for me to get on stage as a musician. I think it would be easier to be a dominatrix on stage. But combining the two ideas I’m not sure but it seems sort of a strange idea. Who knows what will develop I suppose it will all come together in the way that it will, maybe a sundress and boots.

Uncle Wheat Toast: What should Americans know about the country of Haiti?

Simone: The latest news is that Charlie Sheen is going to team up with Sean Penn to assist with the ongoing relief effort.

Uncle Wheat Toast: Do you have any beefs going down with any artists?

Simone: Going down on who ??? With who ??? hahahahaha Got beef ? I don’t understand the question, can you rephrase the question?

R.E.: There are a million psychoanalytical assumptions made by outsiders about WHY people are drawn into the BDSM lifestyle, why people seek out the services of a Dom, why women are drawn into the role. Reflecting on yourself, what compels you towards this world?

Simone: Since I was very young I have had a dominant personality. I am not sure I was ever the subservient kind of girl. I was mouthy and rebellious from the get go. I have my domestic side and my friends or people that know me know this. It’s funny to watch me at home because I am always doing housework and I like cooking food from scratch. I am also into taking care of “my man”. At least when I am in a relationship with a man, I do all these housewife type things like cooking and the laundry or the cleaning. I am a little old fashioned and very domestic but I am also not willing to put up with any bullshit.

I sort of fell into BDSM and then I wanted to know or learn all there was to know about it. It was a fascinating world. BDSM is still very misunderstood. I don’t have all the answers to why people seek out the services of the Dominatrix. It is only my opinion but I think some people are wired for it, some people are not or they don’t get it at all. It might be that some people are doing kinky things and not even be aware that it is considered BDSM. They haven’t discovered our crazy little world. More and more though you can seek it out or even do a google search and ta da – there is an endless amount of information and websites about kinky stuff.

Some women have been drawn into this role because it suits them it comes natural and perhaps they are true alpha females. Others adopt the role – they get a job at a house of domination or pick up a whip and go to work. This does not make them true Dominas. You have to read many books on the subject and the philosophy in addition to learning how to acquire skills that you need to become a dominatrix. There is no formal trade school for this sort of thing so you have to learn from others who are a part of the lifestyle or take classes with organizations who offer up classes and the knowledge.

R.E.: Is there any one person, experience or situation that put you on this path?

Simone: Yes, I have an ex-boyfriend who got me into this heavy. We had a lifestyle relationship for many years.

R.E.: While I’m the first person to rail against the faux pas of asking people about their tattoos, I find you chest piece intriguing- the heart with the phrase “My Bones” tattooed above it. Anyone seeing this can take on different assumptions about what this means, but what does the symbolism/concept mean to you? (I’m not buying that it’s just decorative.)

Simone: It is a very personal and sentimental tattoo. It is actually an ace of spades that has been flipped upside down. The ace of spades being the death card in the tarot. I would rather not get into all the significance about the tattoo. Simply put this tattoo is about love, change and transition. I was involved with a man who changed my life in many ways. My relationships usually do. The tattoo is a beautiful reminder that I was capable of loving someone that much. I was able to get past it and I have no regrets. It is a beautiful thing.

Uncle Wheat Toast: I’ve never been interested in BDSM as a personal activity, but I’ve always drawn large numbers of dominatrixes as friends. Obviously, their “hard day at the office” stories are always far more interesting than anyone else’s. What is your favorite work story? The one you break out at the cocktail party to make everyone’s jaw drop.

Simone: Actually, I would rather not talk about it at a party. I would rather not share any intimate details or talk about “work” especially at a social event. I have certainly had some interesting days at the office and if I have a bad day at work it’s not really worth sharing, at least not on a public level. Some of these stories are funny even gross or disturbing. I feel it is best to maintain my discretion for my clients. Gabbing about it isn’t very polite.

Uncle Wheat Toast: Is Jesus Christ your homeboy?

Simone: JESUS is so METAL He’s a ROCKSTAR He has so many loyal fans and just look at him Jesus is sexy as fuck…. that long hair he is one hellova head banger. He’s my ideal HOT rocker guy. Have you seen him air guitar I’m telling ya he’s just outstanding the dude can walk on water and perform miracles.

R.E.: Do you have any suggestions or advice to any women (or men) who want to become a Dom or explore BDSM?

Simone: Ask yourself WHY you want to become a dominatrix. It is not an easy job and it is not the quick buck you are looking for if you just want to get into it for the money. My feeling is you should be passionate about BDSM or your lifespan in the industry won’t last long. You really need to get into a healthy place with BDSM. It is energy work and it is ultimately about power exchange. It is not just about the sessions either there is a lot of office work, email and phones booking appointments, the web management or web design, marketing and now video or web cam work also. The trick is to create multi revenue streams. You have to constantly be marketing yourself putting your image out there and you have to be able to know your stuff. It’s a lot to do and to cater to each individual who has specific interests or needs. You have to be able to deal with the heady part of the job and the psychology as well. I still say read books and not just on BDSM but also psychology and human sexuality. It is about skill level too so CPR and learning all you can about the body and anatomy is something I would recommend. Safety is a big deal. There is more to this than people might think. Safe, sane and consensual play is really important. You don’t just go in and start whipping the shit out of someone… You really need to learn whipping skills and rope skills or other forms of bondage. You need to know how to do all the activities safely and to be able to know how to play or how to create a scene. You have to be able to balance dark and light energy and know how to replenish your own energy and release any negative energy also. One must know how to lead the submissive on a journey and be able to bring them back from that journey.

It is an adventure and it can be a very spiritual, emotional experience. It is about mind, body and spirit.

R.E.: Bringing it back to the music, what can fans expect next from Simone Kross? When are you going back on tour?

Simone: Well, I would like to find a way to get into a recording studio and get this record done. I am working on writing more songs now and have some ideas for a new project. I am not sure I will play live for a while I need to write and practice everyday and so it is about finding that balance with the Pro-Domme work and the music. I am going back on tour come springtime but as a ProDomme, city to city. I have no plans to tour as a musician right now. I recently met some guys here in Nashville that are doing some fun music projects and I hope to talk more with them and possibly record a single. It’s all a matter of time and working towards my goals. It’s happening – I’m rocking and rolling with all of it.

R.E.: Simone, thank you so much for talking with us today.

Simone: Thanks guys.

Now that you’ve gotten to know Simone a little better, be sure to check out Her Site

Photos Courtesy of simonekross.com

This entry is brought to you courtesy of Swellco & Swellco’s month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”

R.E. Brown & Uncle Wheat Toast sit down for an intense interview and glue huffing session with the internationally renowned pro dom & BDSM model Simone Kross to discuss her music career, BDSM lifestyle, sexual mores,  Jesus Christ and good BBQ. Check out the first of two parts bellow.

Uncle Wheat Toast: Tell us about your childhood. We understand you were raised in a Belgium monastery.

Simone: (laughing) Yes, well, my parents thought I was so rebellious that perhaps sending me off to a Belgium monastery was the thing to do.

I feel I benefited from such a spiritual upbringing and now having a polar opposite lifestyle I feel I have a different perspective but coming from such a diverse background has been beneficial. I had of time and for reflection but feel I missed out on having a fun and playful childhood since I spent most of my time in prayer. LOL

I actually grew up in Phoenix, Arizona. It’s so damn hot there and I miss the desert sky, monsoon season. I think growing up in AZ is what influences me even now looking back at my experiences as a young girl.

Wheat Toast: Great. I’ve got the wrong notes again.

R.E.: You recently relocated to Nashville. The south isn’t always known for it’s open mindedness when it comes to sexual mores. As a very open Pro Dom, how has your reception been?

Simone: Oh well yeah, I moved from California to the heart of the Bible Belt, I feel like Nashville is much more progressive a city than people might think. Certainly, it is not like California, I mean San Francisco is as liberal as it gets especially about sexual culture. San Francisco is very sex positive however it also has a more formal approach to the BDSM lifestyle and this is also something that rings true in the Pro-Domme industry. It is a mixed bag. Kink.com is based there and is the largest video production house. The Pro-Domme community has a new influx of women and also Dominatrixes who have been in the game for quite a while with outstanding well-equipped dungeons. You can find classes or workshops. Mr. S Leather & Fetters is the largest BDSM supply house in town. You just don’t get all of this anywhere else.

LA is just a crazy town there’s the BDSM/Gothic/Industrial nightclub thang and there is more happening in the alternative fetish video production world. Stockroom offers classes and there is more happening in the underground scene in LA but this changes constantly.

I got my start in BDSM in San Francisco so I feel that the bay area is just the best place to learn about the fundamental core of the BDSM lifestyle with all the parades or street fairs and education and fun nightclubs or bars where BDSM is just a part of the culture. It is more accepted overall.

Truth is the response to my being here in Nashville has been great. It seems there is some excitement about my now being based here and some enthusiasm. I like feeling appreciated this has been a big change for me and it has been really good for me on a personal and pro level. I was not sure what to expect really I had spent time here but never “worked” here before but there are sincere fetishists and kinksters with whom I have played with so this makes me incredibly happy. My career has been always been about the live interpersonal session experience. There seems to be some people who are into kink and fetish; it’s here but it is quiet and not so out in the open. It is not in the clubs, it is not about video production. I think it is in some ways it is more about the opportunity to play with people who appreciate that I did not move to another big city to play I moved to Nashville. It is certainly not an over saturated market. I would prefer to be discreet and sincere about my business here and build a clientele who might not have had the opportunity to play with me when I was on the west coast. I am more centrally located. Nashville is location from which I can travel, I spent the past couple years or so as this nomadic dominatrix going from city to city much like a rock band would going from town to town playing shows, I like to travel. Nashville might be considered to be a more conservative a town but Nashville is the one place I actually feel I fit in. There are kinky people everywhere. The thing is my clients more often than not tend be more the conservative business professional. Kink might be more prevalent in a more conservative society in my opinion because it is considered to be taboo.

I also feel like my musical tastes and my style of music jives with Nashville, Music City.  LA is not really a music town but a movie town here it is all about the music. I don’t like over produced music but music that comes from the heart and to keep it simple. It’s a slower pace in the south, I can be creative, I am more grounded and honestly I think I can accomplish more here because it is easier for me to get centered and focus on my projects. I really like the south the people are so nice and it is a pleasant place so I am happy to now call Nashville home.

Uncle Wheat Toast: You are known for your yogurt only diet, what made you come up with that idea?

Simone: Yogurt is good for you and well it’s smoooooth and creamy goodness. I was on a McDonalds hamburger diet for a while binge purge binge purge (laughing)  Oh but now actually I am on a carb kick hoping to put on a few pounds so all I eat are donuts. (kidding) I actually eat healthy but I can put down the food. I like southern food and I will say the fried chicken and biscuits at the Loveless Barn here in Nashville are the best.

Wheat Toast: Biscuits always give me gas.

Simone: It has been great to go out and the BBQ here is great.  There are so many waffle houses I was curious if there were more waffle houses than Churches here. (laughing)

Uncle Wheat Toast: Is it true that you really dated Brigitte Nielson?

Simone: No, no that is just a rumor. Brigitte Nielson is not really my type of gal. I have always had a mad crush on Joan Jett though.

Wheat Toast: Could you pretend you did? I have a lot of Flavor Flav questions.

R.E.: Don’t answer that. As a song writer, you kind of have to wear your heart on your sleeve so to speak, there is a certain level of vulnerability needed for your lyrics to be credible. Do you find this difficult after having worked so long as a Dominatrix? It is a profession that requires you to retain complete control and maintain a stoney disposition.

Simone: Who says that a dominatrix is not a vulnerable woman?

Wheat Toast: The handbook.

Simone: The idea that we must create a strong image and demeanor is true but that does not make us any less human. I have had my fair share of heartbreak and disappointments in love and most of my songs have been about heartbreak. I do wear my heart on my sleeve especially when it comes to the music. You gotta feel it. I have had some people say why not wear the fetish outfits or the boots and sing or perform.  I just don’t think the music is about my being a dominatrix; it is different. I am not sure the image of a dominatrix is in line with the music but who knows. The dominatrix me is separate from the music me. I have all these different aspects of my personality. I feel I can be as creative as I want to be and keep reinventing myself. These are my true feelings and I have been challenged by music, I am still learning how to play guitar. I don’t think I am a proficient guitar player. I am a minimalist, I have a vocal focus and learning how to sing and play guitar was difficult. I am still learning. I will say this also I have been a professional dominatrix for over 14 years now and I am still learning in that realm also. We never stop learning new tricks or methods. The art of BDSM is not something I have ever mastered I don’t think it is possible to do. Being a dominatrix is about connecting with people and playing music is also about connecting with people, similar but different.

Wheat Toast: While Romanesque architecture is usually defined in relationship to the Roman and earlier medieval past, Gothic architecture has been described, by contrast, as a revolutionary or modern architecture. Could you assess the validity of these assertions, you know, maybe describe the origins and development of Gothic architecture in the Ile de France, explaining its technical and aesthetic innovations, its theological motivations, as well as its, you know, formal relationship to Romanesque architecture and maybe the earlier mediaeval past.

Simone: While that is all very fascinating, I don’t feel the need to elaborate. I just happen to think Gothic architecture is beautiful. One day I hope to acquire and old Gothic church or castle that would be a dream come true. The Simone Kross dream dungeon

R.E.: What can fans expect next from Simone Kross? When are you going back on tour?

Simone: I am planning to make a trip to Chicago this month March 22nd & 23rd and that is the just the beginning of the Simone Kross Gypsy Tour. I plan to travel once a month once spring hits. I can’t really travel much during the winter months with the cold weather and snow. So spring, summer and fall I should be bouncing from town to town, hoping to visit Boston, NYC, DC, Atlanta, North Carolina, New Orleans, Maybe St. Louis and Philly. Texas might be possible. I will probably more than likely be back to LA and San Francisco also.

Uncle Wheat Toast: Any message you’d like to put out there for other artists?

Simone: You have to be willing to put yourself out there and not care about public scrutiny. Although, I believe you have to care about what you are producing and work at it to be good at it. Being an artist is about self-expression and freedom.  Art is not about making money it is about having passion and putting your time into creative projects to see what the outcome might be.  Art is about the creative process if it challenges you and you are able to persevere then you might find fulfillment in performing or making art. I say just keep at it, writing down your ideas, drawing, painting, photography, acting, singing, performing, whatever it is keep at it.  Come from your heart and soul and be true to yourself.

Come back tomorrow for the second part of the interview. In the meantime check out Simon’s Site

Photos Courtesy of simonekross.com

1. Combine 1 part water with 3 parts corn syrup (honey syrup in the UK).
2. Add red food coloring and mix gently by shaking or stirring. Continue adding drops until the shade resembles that of real blood. Add a small amount of blue food coloring to achieve a more realistic shade.
3. Add a thickener.
   • Dry thickener – Add sifted flour or corn starch to your mixture, and gently mix it all again. You may get small lumps forming at the top of the mixture. Wait about a minute and they will float to the top where you can remove them.
   • Wet thickener – Stir in chocolate syrup until the desired consistency is reached. It will also add a realistic brown tone to the blood.
4. Let the mixture sit for ten minutes in a warm environment. This will give it some time to thicken. And then you can freak people out with it, it is a lot of fun. Note: this recipe yields blood that is very sticky initially, especially in hair.

Now are you ready to watch Tokyo Gore Police? Check out the movie site
-Marcus Abrey Swellco & Swellco 24534b

“Today is the shadow of tomorrow
Today is the present future of yesterday
Yesterday is the shadow of today
The darkness of the past is yesterday
And the light of the past is yesterday
The days of yesterday are all numbered in sum
In the world once
Because once upon a time there was a yesterday
Yesterday belongs to the dead
Because the dead belongs to the past
The past is yesterday
Today is the preview of tomorrow but for me
Only for my better and happier point of view
My point of view is the thought of a better or try
Reality is today of eternity
The eternity of yesterday is dead
Yesterday is as one
The eternity of one is the eternity of the past
The past is once upon a time
Once upon a time is past
The past is yesterday today
The past is yesterday today
While we’re searchin for tomorrow”
-Lord Quasimoto

Photos courtesy of creepyfind.tumblr.com

Very busy, but always smiling, that's Mo Mo.

Because they’re so important to us and to our creating a positive experience for our customers, we’ll let a few members of our staff introduce themselves. Today we’d like to introduce account management coordinator, Mo Mo Skank (Swellco & Swellco 25461b).

Our hot shot account management coordinator Mo Mo brings a wealth of experience to Swellco & Swellco. He came to us from Hooters, where he was the general manager, and he holds a degree in marketing from Temple University. Mo Mo grew up in Camden NJ and recently became a father to his sister’s second baby boy. He spends his free time with his fiancé Lou and their own “baby,” Joey an 18-month-old Ukrainian orphan that they bought on the black market last summer. Mo Mo usually carries a photo or two of himself naked, so ask to see them. Mo Mo also enjoys spending time with his mother as well, and the two of them can be caught on Sunday nights getting drunk and playing BINGO. A perfectionist, Mo Mo’s standards are evident throughout the office, from the filing system to the anti-odor spray he keeps in the rest room. Always busy keeping things running smoothly, Mo Mo will still make the time to greet you with a smile because our customers are his priority.

Vote for Mo Mo as our employee of the month

Goodbye model airplanes.

So I’ve got to admit that I’ve totally been geeking out the last two weeks. I’m not sure how I got involved in virtual render modeling, but some how I got sucked in. Like everything else, hobby modeling went virtual. You don’t have ant farms, you’ve got sims. You don’t bust out the monopoly board when your friends come over, you bust out the wii, and load the monopoly board. For some reason simulating reality is always more appealing to people than living in it. So goes the day’s of model glue, fine sandpaper and tiny, tiny brushes. Now you can build dioramas, customize them, detail them to the tiniest minutia and then load them up with various figures and scenarios. But also gone are the WWII dioramas and the F-16′s hanging from your ceiling. All things left to the imagination and will of the people always leads to sex. The free market left completely unchecked always takes you on a fast ride down the perverts rabbit hole. Modern modeling companies exist in the anonymous virtual world and don’t have to worry about their products being pulled from the shelves because moral zealots were offended. So the virtual model kit is a source to pull your most most intimate, twisted fantasies into play.

At rendererotica.com you can find everything you need, and shit can get real weird fast. Say you want a freckled 5’1′ girl with b cup breasts, blonde hair in pig tails and knee high boots to have a golden shower gang bang in a log cabin with a centaur and three midgets who are all wearing capes and gag balls, as a large robot with rocket launchers for arms and a drill for a cock butt fucks a multi-tentacled squid alien, while Santa Claus is hanging by his arms and getting flogged by a snake woman dressed in an SS uniform… well, they can make that happen.

-Kevin Dalton
Swellco & Swellco 83473t

Pick your figures

Pick your play houses

Like all hobbie modeling, fun is in the details.

When the imagination is left uncensored, shit gets weird.

If you are into it, check out the site

-Kevin Dalton
Swellco & Swellco 83473t

Photos courtesy of https://www.renderotica.com

I don’t know why, but I feel like every time I write one of these entries about an individual, I feel compelled to re-iterate the instructions given to us by Video Circus management. Perhaps because these instructions and criteria are confusing and like any fledging company, every single aspect of this project is evolving. At times the management squabbles about the guidelines and presentation; so much so that most of the writing in the Fuck Saints category has focused on the category more than the porn stars. Often, so goes the Lords of the Underground. Brown has a strange criteria for who goes in what category that’s filled with minutia based logic. Black has his own view on how this should be done and has been trying to change the title to “Talent We Want on Our Payroll.”   You’ve got the home grown proprietor butting heads with the Corporate headquarters advisor; neither seem to have total veto power. The titles of blog entries and categories change back and forth randomly as their mood fits, sometimes editing and re-editing like a duel.

I digress with this not to complain about the madhouse that is the Swellco & Swellco Video Circus, but because it’s hard to categorize, and some people you really can’t categories at all. Simone Kross is one of them. She is a very intense pro dom, a beautiful and intimidating model. She is a  highly talented musician and heads up Oakland band Punk Rock Audrey. Particularly on the west coast, she garners a very large following. So I ask you, how do you categorize a force of nature like Simone? Really you don’t, but I think she comes to mind when I say the words “Lord of the Underground” out loud. Iconic, breathtaking and unforgettable. I fantasize all the time about Simone incorporating all of interests and abilities at once. I want her to tie me up, undress, squat over me and give me a golden shower while she serenades me with her acoustic guitar.

What do you say Simone, will you be my piss fantasy?
-Annette Garcia Swellco & Swellco 54823a
Visit Simone’s site

Photos courtesy of http://simonekross.com

God hates the weak

Suspension of disbelief can be applied to all aspects of life.

To be “mentally” reconditioned means that Swellco & Swellco’s Video Circus process “quickens” (or makes alive) our numb mind. When a consumer believes in the process of the Video Circus, trusting us alone to encourage all perversions- then Swellco & Swellco come’s into one’s mind in the form of a new and better reality.