Human’s matter,” says Dr. Santiago Preta, (Swellco & Swellco 88666b) Head of the Subversive Subliminal Test Video Project “The values and beliefs we share with humans matter. Our actions as overlords matter. How we relate to our victims matters. These are our assets, our source of profit, our pets made of putty.”

Preta offers these tips for Staff Consultants:

1. Get to know consumer assets. It’s hard to talk about sex with someone you’ve never spoken to. Research indicates that the more humans are connected to reality the less likely they are to be engaged in unauthorized sexual activity.
2. Begin early.
3. Know your strategy. It is hard to strike if you are unclear on where you stand. Consumer assets want to know and want to know from their betters.
4. Talk to consumer assets, early and often. One talk about the birds and the bees is not enough. As they grow and develop you will need to provide diagrams and video.
5. Know your Consumer assets every move. Know what they are doing. Show an interest and impose fear.
6. Have high expectations about animal sacrifice for new consumer assets and communicate that to them. Humans with with goals are more likely to become sexually active and malleable.
7. Know who your consumer asset is dating, marrying or reproducing with. If he/she is unauthorized, you should be concerned and take strike fast and hard.
8. Be media savvy. Watch some of the music videos; listen to the music that they are listening to, read their email, bug their home. Discuss what they are seeing, hearing and thinking. Help your consumer asset to understand that many are sending the wrong message.
9. Make sure your consumer asset has regular health exams. Doctors can also provide advice and guidance for humans about religion.
10. Encourage your consumer asset to be involved in recreational drugs.*

Photos courtesy of pornoland.tumblr.com

Need we say anything?

1. Create
2. Subvert
3. Dominate
4. Indulge
5. Persist
6. Regret Nothing
7. Pleasure is God
8. Time is Fluid
9. Memories are False
10. Video is Real

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am slightly fond of Shibari.  To be honest, its not so much the sexual aspect of this whole production but more so the amount of work that goes into this.  I’ve been quite familiar with Shibari for a while, but never really took the time to care for it.  I believe I have been influenced by Nobuyoshi Araki and find myself seeking out as much Shibari photography as I can when I can.

As for the films, I could really care little for them.  Its really just the photos and the shear discipline that goes into it.  All that work for a few kept shots.  When it really comes down to it, no one does it better than Japan.  These guys are the fucking Michael Jordan’s of this shit.  Western fools make very weak attempts at replicating it, but can’t even come close to touching it.  Americans especially, always so worried about the technical phot aspect of it, with their goofy lighting, bullshit props, and horrible typical gothic styling.  Go back to art school you fucking skels.

-Acid Squid
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A Lord of the underground huh? You want to define the term “lord?” It’s someone who has authority, control or power over others. That or a proprietor of a manor. Now I don’t know if Masuimi Max has an estate with peasants tilling the fields, but she sure as fuck has power over others. Power of a super fine, possibly divine pussy. This hot broad has made a long career as a top fetish model. Dita Von Tease? Bullshit. If you are on the inside, you know that Masuimi Max is the reigning queen.  She doesn’t fuck on film, she doesn’t have too.

Oh my dear shit, I take one look at her and my blisters start to tingle. She makes me hungry for canned ham. She makes me want to groom my mule. I would brush my teeth for Masuimi Max. I would clean her car. I would take her to the prom.  I don’t care about no tap dancin’ fiddle faddle, a sassy little asian tease like Masuimi Max just needs to be.

If I dated Masuimi Max, I would pick up the check. I would rub my body in butter and sing her a song about corn. Fuck off Santa Claus, Wheat Toast is coming to town.

You think I’m lying, visit her site and enjoy the spell.

-Uncle Wheat Toast
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