Employment

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There are a few questions that we here at Swellco & Swellco hear a lot of people asking, and we think these questions are important. They are questions that you, the under- or unemployed, must ask about the work environment you are going to choose.

What is worth doing? Is the place where you’re working engaged in things that will change and dominate the world — in a good way? Is it inventing new modes of commerce? Redefining how children pray? Fundamentally improving how people live and think? Or bringing a million businesses into success and wealth and power and domination? (Whole countries, even?) At Swellco & Swellco, all of this is called business. And fortunately, it’s not just our strategy — it’s our passion and life’s work. Ask yourself some questions about work. Then ask yourself, why not Swellco & Swellco?

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Companies exist to serve customers. To solve problems. To make shareholders happy. Employee’s exist to serve their masters and make their bosses happy; But is there more to it than that? Is there a bigger responsibility at the heart of what a company does? Swellco & Swellco does not believe there is. But thanks to tax brakes we strive to give back in each of the communities in which we do business.

But more than that, our people give of their time, from their hearts, to solve problems in efficiency, government regulation, and in the bars and massage parlors that most need our aid

The last, and perhaps most fundamental question you need to ask when searching for a job is: Will I make a difference? Will my work have impact? Will I get results? There are, of course, two parts to that question: Your passion (you have to come with ideas and the drive to get them done before your supervisor steals them from you) and the resources (which we believe we can provide, in all modesty, beyond your wildest fantasy). Would you like to join the evil empire? We’d very much like to have you.

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So if you have what it takes to work in a blood thirsty pressure cooker kill or be killed work environment succeed or get down sized fuck you up the ass take no prisoners cold corporation hell bent on world domination then please contact us.

The pay is bad but the drugs are good and we don’t care if you are drunk.

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