Archive for the ‘Ask Uncle Toast’ Category
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
Uncle Wheat Toast claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Family thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

Lick it up, it'll cost you.
(more…)
Tags: ice cream, maniac, moonshine, serial killer, slut, soft serve, swellco & swellco, uncle toast, verbal abuse
Posted in Ask Uncle Toast | No Comments »
Friday, December 4th, 2009
Uncle Wheat Toast claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Family thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

Dance for Pappa
(more…)
Tags: advice columnist, farming, hog, inhalants, kate moss, murder, pee, shnapps, shotgun, swine
Posted in Ask Uncle Toast | No Comments »
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
Uncle Wheat Toast claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Family thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

Momma please be nice
(more…)
Tags: 18 year old, advice, binge, booty shake, cocaine, coke, fart, obese, oiled booty, step children, swellco, zombies
Posted in Ask Uncle Toast | No Comments »
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
Swellco2000.com’s own lovable Uncle Wheat Toast (Swellco & Swellco 54239c) claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Swellco & Swellco thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

And your little monkey too.
(more…)
Tags: advice column, examination table, fat ass, gynecologist, maggots, moldy bread, obesity, pap-smears, satan, taxidermy
Posted in Ask Uncle Toast | No Comments »
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
Swellco2000.com’s own lovable Uncle Wheat Toast (Swellco & Swellco 54239c) claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Swellco & Swellco thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

Crack thieves will not be tolerated
(more…)
Tags: advice, anal sex, coat hanger, cocaine, crack, monkeys, prison, swellco, trailer park
Posted in Ask Uncle Toast | No Comments »
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
Swellco2000.com’s own lovable Uncle Wheat Toast (Swellco & Swellco 54239c) claims to be an advice columnist and when he’s not smoking crack or on a glue binge, he seems to be somewhat lucid. As many as 15 thousand people write him a day asking for his worldly sage advice and the Swellco & Swellco thinks it’s about time our pride and joy shares some of his wisdom.

Slut.
(more…)
Tags: advice collumn, child abuse, coat hangers, crack cocaine, gang bang, mind monkeys, step child, stressed in prison, trailer park, wheat toast
Posted in Ask Uncle Toast | No Comments »