The Simian Mobile Disco, Conspiracy
There are others beyond Swellco & Swellco who are also bent on mind control
So my girlfriend asked me if I wanted to go dancing at super dope, La Poison Rouge tonight. I was down until she said who was DJing- Simian Mobile Disco. I changed my response to a “fuck to the no.” I am well aware of these Englishmen and their dark magic.
The Simian Mobile Disco team has become world renowned due to mind control signals which they emanate from their Satanic boom boxes, These boom boxes were given to them by a coven of C.I.A. warlocks stationed at Stonehenge.
Stonehenge has been a hot bed for mystic governmental mind control research since the 1600s. My sources tell me that the Simian dudes received said Satanic boom boxes way back in the 1950′s. At the time James Ford and Jas Shaw, were just two sassy chimney sweeps from London. The C.I.A. recruited them with the express purpose of disseminating British mind control messages in dance clubs.
Now you may think, hey “hypocrite, you work for Swellco & Swellco. Swellco & Swellco engages in mind control experiments all the time.” This is exactly true. There is a complete conflict of interest here between the two groups and I want nothing to do with a Simian Mobile Disco for that reason. It would be like working for Coca Cola and then having someone say, “hey Dan, why don’t you refresh yourself with some delicious Crack Cocaine.” It’s just bad form.
No sir, there is plenty to do right here in Brooklyn.
Dan Dirkwater (Swellco & Swellco 22145b)