German Sparkle Party Party Pants
Party, party, party pants…
I am soooooo excited. Each year with the coming spring I get a second wind- a flutter in my chest (which MIGHT be a minor heart attack from too much butter & ecstacy, or something else, I don’t know). There’s just so much to look forward to after being locked away for the long, cold winter. One year the Cock Shark & I spent every Monday night in the park, drunk, smoking pot and eating painkillers like they were Good & Plenties (oh wait, they were good, and they were plenty, but I digress)….. You know, just enjoying the weather and watching the children play while we planned a late summer holiday to the Golden Triangle.
Anyway, I’m utterly thrilled to have discovered the “German Sparkle Party.” Im utterly convinced they are going to be a HUGE part of my near future. If the word “hardcore” is a part of the definition- regardless of what- Porn? Drugs? Music? All three? -it’s destined to be something special- and memorable…… although depending on what you do while you’re there, you may or may not remember everything. No seriously- I mean, the uniform is specified as rubber boots, sequins & party pants. I’m fairly certain the pants should contain lycra. And for the ultimate hag- this means more queens than a gay poker tournament. What fun!!! I’m so excited I’m about to lose my breath. I’m trying to remember the best party I’ve ever been to and assuming any German Sparkle Party will beat it in spades. Also, since it’s German, I think there will be lots and lots of wieners, just the way I like it.
So- if you’re interested- might I suggest watching the training video presented by some educational group called the Something Experience. It’s like those videos they make you watch when you get hired at McDonalds but better. By the end you’ll know exactly what to do. So much fun it’s guaranteed to turn any square into a triangle, if you know what I mean, and if you don’t then I’ve lost all respect for you. Adios my pretties, I’m off to play dress up and giggle like a schoolgirl.
Want to know more about this? Of course you do.
C U Next Tuesday,
Xoxo
Helen Harper (Swellco & Swellco 44321)
Photos courtesy of http://awesomequeenskittles.tumblr.com
*Swellco & Swellco does not endorse or condone the use of illegal drug use and all references are purely fictional for entertainment purposes.
Tags: dance party, German sparkle party, party pants, the Something Experience

























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