Wheat Toast’s Anti-Huffing Pledge
These Purely Gratuitous photos have nothing to do with the pledge
I’ve released a monster with all of this Anti-Huffing Glue Rhetoric going around these days. Swellco & Swellco management has gone all topsy ridiculous on the matter and now I can’t sniff a marker in the office without getting hit upside the head with a John Holmes Dildo.
Not only do they want me to make a pledge to give up huffing ALL inhalants that will get you high, they want me to write the pledge so that all the people at the Drug Jawn Anti-huffing Psychedelic Disco Dance Party.
Well I like a paycheck so here goes my first rough draft. Let me know what you think.
-Believing that true love waits in a world free of the beautiful haze of chemical inhalants, I make a commitment to God (and or weed*), myself, my family, Satan, my friends, my co-workers, my pimp, my future mate, my future roommates, and my future children to a lifetime of purity and holy blessed strength and including inhalant abstinence, from this day until the day I enter a Biblical relationship with a sexy, hot, sweaty, hard bodied fuck machine who will rock my world and smoke blunts all night. I will keep my body and my thoughts pure as I trust in God’s (and or weed’s) perfect plan for my life. It is God’s (and or weed’s) will that you and your first born should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his/her own body in a way that is holy, honorable and full of weed.
And now a Purely Gratuitous naked Tumblr Photo set to distract you from your urges to huff the beautiful sweet fumes of enlightenment that only toxic chemicals in a dirty sock can provide.
Swellco & Swellco 54239c
Photos courtesy of http://workshoperotica.tumblr.com