Keeping Up With Liturgy Front Man Hunter Hunt-Hendrix
A Black Metal Boy Band? It’s about time.
You know, I’ve been really trying to get into Metal these days. But I really feel like there is something missing. Maybe it’s the total lack of furry fandom costumes in the videos, the guys don’t shave enough, everyone is yelling and there just isn’t enough gay sex in most metal songs.
But I realized that there was a band out there that changed the game. That band is Liturgy. Liturgy has gotten world acclaim because the front man, boy toy Dancing with the Stars contender, Hunter Hunt-Hendrix went to community college and learned philosophy his freshman year. When I read this, I realized that was what was missing in metal, and especially black metal. There just aren’t enough metal musicians who like to read things in books and tell people about it.
While the band is good, my real crush is on Hunter, he’s soft spoken, drinks a lot of tea, and understands that Black Metal and button up sweaters can snuggle with each other.
The critics are raving…
-”Ive never felt so strongly the need to curbstomp someone in all my life.”
-”yo fuck this hipster fag metal”
-”one of the worst frontmen ever”
-”my dog died and I believe Hunter Hunt-Hendrix killed him with an overdose of his pussyness. Plus their music sucks.”
-”if ever there was one man in this world who deserves to be ripped apart by rats, it would be Hunter Hunt-Hendrix. He is worse than Hitler.”
-”it sounds like an unholy demon getting finger fucked by an octopus. But not in a good way.”
-”I regularly masturbate to photos of Hunter Hunt-Hendrix, then I punch my wife in the face.”
If you haven’t read any of Hunter’s letters about why metal can be for smart people too, or if you haven’t checked out this boy toy’s killer new tunes, watch the videos bellow and then look him up here.
-The Ultimate Fan,
(Swellco & Swellco 54823a)