Ice Dragon, Cat Fights & The Khmer Black
Some times you gotta slap a bitch in the name of good music
So the other day I’m communing with the Lord and/or cleaning out my bowl, I’m not sure which, one or the other – it doesn’t really matter. In any case, whatever it was that I was doing, I was doing it to the soothing sounds of Ice Dragon. My roommate, who was patiently waiting for her turn to pray to god and/or take a hit, says “these guys are just a half-ass imitation of Black Sabbath”, at which point I smacked her right across the mouth much-to-her-chagrin.
I proceeded to inform her that a so-called half-ass imitation of Sabbath is still an imitation of Sabbath, which is to say still leagues better than whatever indie-dork-pitchfork-approved-hipper-than-thou shit she was listening to; at which point she spit in my face.
And while generally I’m no stranger to bodily fluids on my face, uninvited loogies tend to raise my ire. So after a slightly less than graceful catlike pounce upon her chest, followed by vigorous throat massage I explained that if it were up to me I’d gather up all her bad-haired skinny-jeaned-sexually-ambivalent icons, bus them to death camps and burn them alive with piles of their limited edition 7-inches at their feet. I told her that I would in fact, then systematically eliminate all musicians, DJs, composers and most adults so that we could start again, teaching the children of the purity of Black Sabbath. All bands would not be imitations of Sabbath but more like emissaries spreading the truth, light and way of Black Sabbath.
Ice Dragon is NOT a half-ass imitation of Sabbath. You wouldn’t call a priest a half-ass imitation of Jesus?
My roommate accused me of being baked out of my mind, a charge to which I confessed, so I let her go and we continued with our communion.
Swellco & Swellco 54823a
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