Surreal Anatomical Illustrations By Claudiu Candea
Parenting Tips With Claudiu Candea & Uncle Wheat Toast
I came across these adorable mothers day portraits by renowned Italian and special education child psychology artist Claudiu Candea yesterday and though I would share some of my own unsolicited and often irresponsible views on childbearing with total disregard for any intelligent discourse.
Diet: When pregnant eat foods that are nutrient rich like Hungry Man, Soy Boy and Tiger Balm. You’ve got to get good fire in your guts to keep the queer demons out of your babies brain hole.
Exercise: Work out during pregnancy to promote strength, muscle tone and a fine ass. Sweet knocked up ladies need to get ready to hit the bricks running when they drop that beast out the girl hole. Avoid activities that include the risk of falling or injury.
Socialize: Make friends with other people who know where the parties are at. Brag about how your breasts drip milk. They will all scream “jealous.”
Sex: It is safe to have sex during a normal pregnancy throughout the entire 9 month term, especially in the butt. If your butt starts to hurt, you can do it in the vag, just don’t poke an eye out!
Education: Not likely now, you’ve got a kid to watch. 
Travel: Stay on the move, don’t stay in one place too long. They WILL find you.
I have no doubt that Claudiu Candea would agree if I knew anything about him or her or what ever if I had bothered to actually learn anything about this great creative mind.
-Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c
Learn more on why Google Translate is still very lacking and check out more of these pics.
Photos courtesy of http://www.uad.ro/Claudiu_Candea
Tags: artist, Claudiu Candea, motherhood, nightmare, portraits, reproduciton
