Machine Girl: I’d Give My Right Arm For A…
If I am ever going to be taken serious as an Evil tour de force & get the revenge I need, I’m going to have to loose one of my perfectly proportionate, meaty body parts.
Having to wear an eye patch or missing a finger would give me the allure of a dangerous past, but are only slightly comprehensive as an, ahem, earmark of how terrible I truly am. The most ruthless, vicious people have lost a limb. Having a missing arm or leg is an Evil Mastermind’s artist’s statement that exclaims, “I’m willing to take this revenge plot all-the-fucking-way, no matter the cost or consequence. & I will crawl through glass to get you back for what you’ve done to me & my Dark Lord.”
The best part: limb fixtures! I never want to get caught without my chosen weapon of mass destruction. I want the ease of just clamping a machine gun to my arm stump & taking out say, an entire Yakuza clan. Then, I’ll switch it up with a chainsaw to make my murderous revenge more intimate.
Who needs to carry bags of heavy artillery & fumble for the right gun? I want to slip into my Japanese schoolgirl uniform, pop my machine gun into place & rampage!
Until then I’m going to see what other solid ideas I can get from this new online video store site I found while I get high on God and or weed. I’m really surprised more people aren’t using it more. Some day it will really take off.
-Puss Bainbridge (Swellco & Swellco 88321c)