Huffing Ain’t Right
We say get high on god (and or weed.)
I want to talk about something that is very close to my heart. Huffing inhalants. As the angry fan letter the other day stated, Swellco & Swellco has a real history of reaching out to the public for issues that matter in the communities we are sequestered in. I feel like the amount of huffing I see going on in my living room and down at the corner Deli where I do inhalants really seems to be reaching epidemic proportions. That being said, I would like to quote the good book regarding this issue.
‘Do not huff glue.’
But I tell you that anyone who huffs glue and then
looks at a woman has already sucked her dick with his heart”
(Matthew 12:18).
While the above verses refer to men huffing glue, all men know that it can very easily be reversed to apply to oven cleaner as well. Men may be more easily stimulated while huffing oven cleaner, but men can be just as vulnerable to sexual fantasy with a bag of airplane glue. Both are sin in God’s eyes, and both can be brought into subjection by controlling our thoughts through so much sweet stinky weed.*
All huffing immorality begins with a thought. A lustful delicious ravenous thought not taken captive, will eventually lead to other perversions, because sin reproduces itself in increasingly greater measures. If we do not deal with our evil thoughts, they will take root in our hearts (and through huffing and anal injection.)
God came not only to deliver us from our “outward” sins, but also from wickedness that begins in the heart. And everyone knows “the heart” is just gay code for fornication because fornication is more that just sex with someone before marriage, it is something beautiful. And it leads to other beautiful amazing things like other sexual sins such as pornography and the use of sexual toys for gratification and extortion. People who are not satisfied with God’s plan for sex commit idolatry by using evil things to experience weird and unlawful forms of sexual intercourse. Some verses in Willie D actually describe this kind of fornication.
“I make big money, I drive big cars
Everybody know me, it’s like I’m a movie star
But late at night, somethin ain’t right
I feel I’m being tailed by the same sucker’s head lights
Is it that fool that I ran off the block
Or is it that nigga last week that I shot”
(Willie D 1:22)
And this is why I am campaigning for Huffing Glue to be the new Swellco & Swellco cause célèbre when we begin operating live again.
-Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c
Photos courtesy of http://girlsandguns.tumblr.com/ & http://epicnsfw.tumblr.com
*Swellco & Swellco does not endorse or condone the use of illegal drug use and all references are purely fictional for entertainment purposes.
Tags: geto boys, god, huffing glue, masturbation, weed
