The Bearded Oyster Brigade
Hey New York, wanna see my bearded oyster?
As a young lady contented with amassing stacks of police charges associated with displays of vulgar nudity, I’ve found cheap kicks in the sisterhood of the New Orleans Mardi Gras parade troupe The Bearded Oysters.
The Bearded Oysters are lovely ladies in slinky, sparkly costumes, trimmed in fur, feathers & fringe. The Oysters don’t have dance routines; they aren’t pussy footers, per se. Oysters are encouraged to expose to the crowds the crown jewel under their silky skirts – merkins of all styles: rhinestone box, the dangly dreadlock snatch, V’s beard or bushy bush.
A merkin is pube slight-of-hand, provocative in it’s distraction, slutty in it’s implication. It’s the ruff that shoots up around the dinosaur’s head before it spits poison in your face. It’s also one of the only ways you will ever get to choose which SuzyQ really represents you…& then show everyone.
The ladies of The Big Easy are accepting members for their spanking new New York chapter’s Halloween (Monday, October 31 for you non-Satan worshipers) parade from 12:00 – 3:00.
Take this liberating opportunity to pull your skirt up in front of a cop, flash the goods at a group of small boys & ultimately, get your voyeuristic rocks off all while sipping schnapps & highstepping though Midtown, leaving NYC boners behind with their Oyster envy.
-Puss Bainbridge
Photos courtesy of http://beardedoysters.org
Tags: Bearded Oysters, merkin, satan, schnapps, snatch, vagina costume
