Thank You, Big Freedia
Dear Big Freedia,
While I generally keep my letters to other trannies personal and somewhat filthy, I feel a great need to publicly acknowledge your humanitarian efforts in the inner city.
You see, the other day I was leaving our well-armed compound in the ghetto of Kensington, Philadelphia, to get some Vaseline and corn chips from the local bodega, when I realized the whole way there I didn’t step over a single junkie corpse. As I passed the park looking for bits of discarded crack rock in the many small plastic baggies strewn about, there was music coming from somewhere, and I noticed in the distance the unusual sight of several local youth not killing each other. In fact, rather than killing each other they were circling a group of young girls who were vibrating and shaking their round voluptuous booties at incredible speeds. As I listened to the deep and powerful lyrics, “Ass, Ass, Ass Everywhere, Ass Everywhere, Ass, Ass, Ass Everywhere, Ass Everywhere – Bend ova, like I told ya, Bend ova, like I told ya”, I was informed by the local smack dealer that it was your music causing this blessed event as many onlookers – black, white, and brown – stared on in a spirit of peace, brotherhood and lechery.
The sense of unity was trans-formative and quickly gave me an erection.
In any case, once again, thank you Big Freedia.
May the booties bounce forever to your beautiful body of work.
Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c