A Moment To Say Thanks
I would just like thank all of Swellco & Swellco’s consumer assets for knowingly or not knowingly participating in the Swellco 2000 subversive subliminal testing project. Times are tough right now and they say the empire has gone down in flames. Well my great grandpa used to always say, “This is our world, we live in it, nobody else can, so why not make the best of a bad situation?” Words of a drunk old crook? Yes, but not untrue. With that in mind, I authorized the launch of this site.
We understand the little guy because we started small. I like to fondly look back on the founding days of Swellco and Swellco, back at a small struggling company ran by two brothers with one big dream. Who were those brothers? Marty and Sigmond Swellco. And what was their dream? To be able to afford a hooker each and every night. Just before I hit them in the head with a hammer, I made them three promises.
First, I said “Guys, I’m going to make some money off this half assed company, and I am going to do it the old fashioned way, by earning peoples trust.”
“Second, I am going to bury you in my back yard.”
“And third, I am going to get me a hooker each and every night.”
I have never forgotten my promises, and I have gonorrhea to prove it. Now twenty five years later Swellco & Swellco is the company you see and I have you the customer to thank for it.
-Swellco & Swellco International CEO,
Fidel Chupe (Swellco & Swellco 000012b)
Photos courtesy of girlsandguns.tumblr.com
Tags: ceo, Corporate headquarters, gonorrhea
