Miss Crash: The Ultimate Bride of the Circus
She just doesn’t know it yet.
A couple of years ago I was a tattoo convention out west. My guy friends ran up to me loosing their shit because a flesh hook suspension show was about to start. I was less that enthused by the idea. I’ve been seeing suspension acts at shows since I was in junior high. Yawn. They were insistent. I was drunk off of rum I was drinking out of a flask an really into watching this three hundred pound biker fight with his crazed 5′ Latino girlfriend. THAT was something I hadn’t seen a dozen times. But the guys wouldn’t let up.
Then I understood why. The suspension girl was quite possibly one of the most epic bitches I have ever seen. She was movie star beautiful, almost naked with this intense mermaid tattoo. Oh and of course she was being violently spun around from thick gauge hooks in her back. I instantly became wet in my girl region.
For two years I’ve dreamed about munching that box. Then today, for reasons I can’t divulge, El Jefe Mr. Black asked me to start perusing models in Las Vegas. I’m browsing through Model Mayhem, and there she is, the suspension queen with the mermaid tattoo.
But wait, there she is in a photo of a midget stuffing her into an oven. But wait, there she is reenacting a Genki- Genki squid fetish scene. But wait, there is a whole series of photos of her being pelted with eggs and rolling around in raw meat. (her concept and direction) I, I, I’m speechless. It’s as if everything we as a staff of Swellco & Swellco’s subversive subliminal testing facility could ever want in one person was right there… I flatly wrote management that I would do anything necessary to get them to make her our top spokes model. I told them I would wash their cars every week for a year, do their laundry and suck Needles Jones dick, I’m that girl crazy for this one.
-Annette Garcia
Swellco & Swellco 54823a
Be sure to check out her site and shower her with praise
Photos courtesy of http://misscrash.com
Tags: Miss Crash, needles jones, suspension acts, tattoo conventions, tattoo models
