Everyone Loves Business Cat
I hate my boss. I hate him with a passion. I don’t want to name names here, so we will just call him “Robert Eric Brown.” Everyday, I fantasize about putting draino in coffee or stabbing his eye out with my letter opener. I’m not sure how much more of him I can endure.
I wish Business Cat were my boss. I wouldn’t even mind if he were to paw at my chest or ask for a back rub. I’d probably even take him home with me, if it meant a promotion. I would get my posts done on time and work extra hours helping with the the event listings. I know Business Cat wouldn’t dismiss my ideas or throw wasabi peas at my face to amuse himself. If Business Cat were my boss, I would bring him cat nip every day, comb his fur and drown him in the toilet. If Business Cat was my boss, I would make a merkin out of his hide and steal his checks.
Please rescue me, Business Cat.