Trina Michaels Vs. Skeletor
It’s so hot that my balls are hanging so low that they are dragging on the ground. That’s right, my balls have road rash scabs. They also smell like a dumpster brimming full of hot rotting squirrels. (if you’ve ever smelled a dumpster full of hot rotting squirrels, you never forget it) It’s just that kind of shitty hot summer and I’m not down at the shore where all city folk should be.
I bring this up because the powers that be have asked me to pick an event going on here in Philly tonight to write about. I think generally the idea is to go to the party, then talk about it, but the last two weeks of heat have left me obsessing with my balls and wanting to do nothing but drink scotch in my kiddy pool.
So I’m going to write about where I would go, IF I have any energy to go out tonight. Smoking hot gonzo porn star Trina Michael’s is shaking her money maker for the last night over at the Gold Club. I love Trina, she is famous for having virtually no limits, we are talking double anal gang bang circus stunt shit. I also love going to the Gold Club, the entrance is by a row of back alley dumpsters behind an Applebee’s, but when you get inside it’s all class and swank.
Getting up and close to one of my favorite fuck saints has some competition.
Something less heavy on the dollah bill expenditure but just as morally questionable is going on at the Troc balcony tonight. Super villain lounge singer Skeletor is hosting the Karaoke Gong Show and Chinatown Beat Down. They are playing XBOX 360 Marvel vs Capcom & Mortal combat on their full size movie screen in between Karaoke rounds.
If my balls didn’t hurt so much, I would probably hedge my bet and go kick some ass at the Troc, the head over to Gold Room to (fail) to get some ass.
-Uncle Wheat Toast
Swellco & Swellco 54239c