Pirate Pussy: A History Lesson In Carnage
Arrrgg me ladies
This entry is brought to you courtesy of our month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”
The following is a re-enactment of an actual testimony given by Bandit FunBlood, a long-time company Associate, when randomly asked what Women’s History Month meant to her. We can neither confirm not deny whether or not she was on any mind-altering substances at the time of the interview. The full transcript follows, below the movie. Enjoy.
Pirate Pussy: A History Lesson in Carnage
While some may not agree, the female sex has, throughout time and in so many ways, represented that of the Dark… the fertile moon… blood.
There are sleepy, peppered superstitions and manic myths about the triple goddess in many cultures.
In times of old, those who were so daring found themselves recalling sultry bewitchment when inticed by a strong woman. Others found themselves recoiling in repulse when a tempting vagina took their ego for a joyride and compelled them to look deeper into their dark places and desires.
Which, of course, invokes fear… therefore inducing all sorts of reactions:
Passionate Dynomite Fuck Fests for the the brave-hearted; mind-buzzing confusion for those walking the fence; acts of violence and aggression from those carrying chips on their shoulders; and of course those who just high-tail it away, whimpering, to the safest place.Strong smart women are certainly not the easiest of creatures to understand or play with. But, if ye be so bold, there is a good chance you will be well-rewarded… um, hehehe… or not.
Called Bitches, Cunts and Sluts… now, I don’t know about ya’ll, but I embrace just about every term that comes my way with full-fucking gusto.
After all, you can’t rape the willing, can ya! Ha ha ha! Dirty girl!!Thanks to good ol’ King James, the stories depicted in the bible, which have of course been changed and tampered with to sway mass mentality.. Duh!
Anyways, these stories always show the good woman to be the virgin, a quiet servant of the lord; while the bad woman, like Lilith, who liked to ride Adam’s cock with reckless abandon… I’m sure of which he didn’t mind!
And she was later condemned to vampirizm for it…SO Hot!But poor Adam lost his slippery seductress… or some other ladies whose sexual forwardness resulted in their heads cracked open with stones…and sadly still does in some places. Those Temptress Harlots! How dare you make our dicks hard, Fucking Forbidden Fruit! That’s what you get for being so fucking sexy!
But.. I digress. What I really wanna talk about is… Pirates!! Yar!
There’s nothing that makes my hot little head detonate with exhuberance and pride for my sex more then amazingly, confidently, sexy bitches, who can KICK SOME FUCKING ASS!Ann Bonny and Mary Read were like that. In the 16th century, when being a woman gave you no rights and men could buy and sell their wives,these ferocious piratanical vixens rampaged the Caribbean sea with piss, guts and fury.
Both had been raised as boys for a time and most likely realized the benefits of the disguise.Mary Read served in the british army as a man, as a ranking officer and soldier.
The irishwoman Ann Bonny stabbed her nursemaid in the stomach at age 14 and ran away with her pirate lover Calico Jack. But not before burning down her father’s plantation for forcing her hand in marriage to that feeble-minded government snitch, James Bonny.
Both these wiley, adventure-hungry bitches had a lust for blood and healthy sexual appetites. As it were, they both teamed up aboard Calico Jack’s ship and were said to all three be lovers amongst other debaucheries. These rowdy fuckers of destruction pillaged ships and slayed many an unfortunate soul in plenty of hot and cold blood.Both were skilled swordswomen and formidable fighters. Ann and Mary had been known to expose their bare breasts just moments before impaling opponents to show their sex, victory and for distractionary purposes. Hehehe. If you ask me, if the last thing that guy saw before he bit it was an eyefull of boobie, then I’d say he was a lucky chap!These stories of powerful women with their “Fuck you, I’ll kill you!’ attitudes,light up and inspire me. They are not the only ones though. Transgender females do too.
I know many transgender and transvestite women who have had their work cut out for them from a very young age. It takes courage and damned determination to understand both sides of a coin and become who they feel they should be.
So, in conclusion, call me a Dirty Little, Fuck All, Cunt, Bitch Slut, because it surely wouldn’t be the first time, sweetheart.
Cuz I fucking ADORE and motherfuckin RESPECT Strong, Courageous, Sex Loving, Bloodthirsty Women!!-Bandit Fun Blood
Tags: anne bonny, bandit funblood, calico jack, cock, mary read, pillaging, pirates, pussy, Transgender, women
