Interview With Simone Kross Part II
This entry is brought to you courtesy of Swellco & Swellco’s month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”
Uncle Wheat Toast: One of the things that fascinates us with you is a very crisp duality that at least appears on the surface. You have established a very credible career as a singer/songwriter and as an often filmed Pro Dom & BDSM model, both at the same time. The obvious gimmick one would expect is a merging of the two; “the singing Dominatrix.” You’ve refrained from this. The world of BDSM by nature is very secretive and underground. By definition, live music is public and outgoing.
With this duality in place, which role do you feel more at home with?
Simone: Have I established a credible music career? Uhmmm I am not sure I have really done that just yet.
R.E.: Credible in our minds.
Simone: I have been working towards that but I don’t have a record deal or anything.I’m not sure what that would entail I am indie and most musicians are able to be independent now. I have yet to cut my record, which I would really like to do and then be able to find a way to distribute it. I have a lot of work to do on the music front. Yes, the obvious gimmick would be to combine the two but hasn’t this already been done? To be honest I make my living as a Pro-Domme and the music is more a side project now if it should flip over that would be interesting. I have been working very hard to balance both the music and my career as a Pro-Domme. Some folks have said that perhaps the people in the music world would frown upon my choice of career as a dominatrix and that I would not succeed as a singer. Whatever, I would rather just say yes, I have been a professional dominatrix and I am also a musician, so what. BDSM is not as secretive as it used to be now that it is all over the internet some people feel it has become more and more mainstream.
In some ways it has and in some ways it has not. If the obvious gimmick is to be the singing dominatrix that just seems so cliché.
Wheat Toast: It would be an absolute cliché.
Simone: Now cliché’s do work and have but I am not singing hard rockin’ music. I think if I was singing hard rock or even metal or punk the dominatrix idea or image could work but I am singing music that is or has a folk country blues flavor. I could try different outfits or looks I don’t think I need to lock into the dominatrix image to sell the music. I think I could even throw out a softer image.
I am actually kind of shy in some ways, I have stage fright and it is difficult for me to get on stage as a musician. I think it would be easier to be a dominatrix on stage. But combining the two ideas I’m not sure but it seems sort of a strange idea. Who knows what will develop I suppose it will all come together in the way that it will, maybe a sundress and boots.
Uncle Wheat Toast: What should Americans know about the country of Haiti?
Simone: The latest news is that Charlie Sheen is going to team up with Sean Penn to assist with the ongoing relief effort.
Uncle Wheat Toast: Do you have any beefs going down with any artists?
Simone: Going down on who ??? With who ??? hahahahaha Got beef ? I don’t understand the question, can you rephrase the question?
R.E.: There are a million psychoanalytical assumptions made by outsiders about WHY people are drawn into the BDSM lifestyle, why people seek out the services of a Dom, why women are drawn into the role. Reflecting on yourself, what compels you towards this world?
Simone: Since I was very young I have had a dominant personality. I am not sure I was ever the subservient kind of girl. I was mouthy and rebellious from the get go. I have my domestic side and my friends or people that know me know this. It’s funny to watch me at home because I am always doing housework and I like cooking food from scratch. I am also into taking care of “my man”. At least when I am in a relationship with a man, I do all these housewife type things like cooking and the laundry or the cleaning. I am a little old fashioned and very domestic but I am also not willing to put up with any bullshit.
I sort of fell into BDSM and then I wanted to know or learn all there was to know about it. It was a fascinating world. BDSM is still very misunderstood. I don’t have all the answers to why people seek out the services of the Dominatrix. It is only my opinion but I think some people are wired for it, some people are not or they don’t get it at all. It might be that some people are doing kinky things and not even be aware that it is considered BDSM. They haven’t discovered our crazy little world. More and more though you can seek it out or even do a google search and ta da – there is an endless amount of information and websites about kinky stuff.
Some women have been drawn into this role because it suits them it comes natural and perhaps they are true alpha females. Others adopt the role – they get a job at a house of domination or pick up a whip and go to work. This does not make them true Dominas. You have to read many books on the subject and the philosophy in addition to learning how to acquire skills that you need to become a dominatrix. There is no formal trade school for this sort of thing so you have to learn from others who are a part of the lifestyle or take classes with organizations who offer up classes and the knowledge.
R.E.: Is there any one person, experience or situation that put you on this path?
Simone: Yes, I have an ex-boyfriend who got me into this heavy. We had a lifestyle relationship for many years.
R.E.: While I’m the first person to rail against the faux pas of asking people about their tattoos, I find you chest piece intriguing- the heart with the phrase “My Bones” tattooed above it. Anyone seeing this can take on different assumptions about what this means, but what does the symbolism/concept mean to you? (I’m not buying that it’s just decorative.)
Simone: It is a very personal and sentimental tattoo. It is actually an ace of spades that has been flipped upside down. The ace of spades being the death card in the tarot. I would rather not get into all the significance about the tattoo. Simply put this tattoo is about love, change and transition. I was involved with a man who changed my life in many ways. My relationships usually do. The tattoo is a beautiful reminder that I was capable of loving someone that much. I was able to get past it and I have no regrets. It is a beautiful thing.
Uncle Wheat Toast: I’ve never been interested in BDSM as a personal activity, but I’ve always drawn large numbers of dominatrixes as friends. Obviously, their “hard day at the office” stories are always far more interesting than anyone else’s. What is your favorite work story? The one you break out at the cocktail party to make everyone’s jaw drop.
Simone: Actually, I would rather not talk about it at a party. I would rather not share any intimate details or talk about “work” especially at a social event. I have certainly had some interesting days at the office and if I have a bad day at work it’s not really worth sharing, at least not on a public level. Some of these stories are funny even gross or disturbing. I feel it is best to maintain my discretion for my clients. Gabbing about it isn’t very polite.
Uncle Wheat Toast: Is Jesus Christ your homeboy?
Simone: JESUS is so METAL He’s a ROCKSTAR He has so many loyal fans and just look at him Jesus is sexy as fuck…. that long hair he is one hellova head banger. He’s my ideal HOT rocker guy. Have you seen him air guitar I’m telling ya he’s just outstanding the dude can walk on water and perform miracles.
R.E.: Do you have any suggestions or advice to any women (or men) who want to become a Dom or explore BDSM?
Simone: Ask yourself WHY you want to become a dominatrix. It is not an easy job and it is not the quick buck you are looking for if you just want to get into it for the money. My feeling is you should be passionate about BDSM or your lifespan in the industry won’t last long. You really need to get into a healthy place with BDSM. It is energy work and it is ultimately about power exchange. It is not just about the sessions either there is a lot of office work, email and phones booking appointments, the web management or web design, marketing and now video or web cam work also. The trick is to create multi revenue streams. You have to constantly be marketing yourself putting your image out there and you have to be able to know your stuff. It’s a lot to do and to cater to each individual who has specific interests or needs. You have to be able to deal with the heady part of the job and the psychology as well. I still say read books and not just on BDSM but also psychology and human sexuality. It is about skill level too so CPR and learning all you can about the body and anatomy is something I would recommend. Safety is a big deal. There is more to this than people might think. Safe, sane and consensual play is really important. You don’t just go in and start whipping the shit out of someone… You really need to learn whipping skills and rope skills or other forms of bondage. You need to know how to do all the activities safely and to be able to know how to play or how to create a scene. You have to be able to balance dark and light energy and know how to replenish your own energy and release any negative energy also. One must know how to lead the submissive on a journey and be able to bring them back from that journey.
It is an adventure and it can be a very spiritual, emotional experience. It is about mind, body and spirit.
R.E.: Bringing it back to the music, what can fans expect next from Simone Kross? When are you going back on tour?
Simone: Well, I would like to find a way to get into a recording studio and get this record done. I am working on writing more songs now and have some ideas for a new project. I am not sure I will play live for a while I need to write and practice everyday and so it is about finding that balance with the Pro-Domme work and the music. I am going back on tour come springtime but as a ProDomme, city to city. I have no plans to tour as a musician right now. I recently met some guys here in Nashville that are doing some fun music projects and I hope to talk more with them and possibly record a single. It’s all a matter of time and working towards my goals. It’s happening – I’m rocking and rolling with all of it.
R.E.: Simone, thank you so much for talking with us today.
Simone: Thanks guys.
Now that you’ve gotten to know Simone a little better, be sure to check out Her Site
Photos Courtesy of http://simonekross.com