CANCELLATION NOTICE Of The Hard Times Dance Party & Talent Contest
What does a bad day at your office look like? Mr. Brown contemplates a social experiment gone horribly wrong.
As you may have noticed, we have not posted a debriefing of our most recent Hard Times Dance Party, Talent Contest and Indoctrination Seminar. This is for very good reason.
We publicly promoted this event as an opportunity for people to express themselves in an open, no rules or judgement forum. Privately, we saw it as a social experiment. The only instruction we gave was that the contestant(s) needed to do “something” to compel the judges to give them the money. How would people interpret this? In this modern age of numbed senses and stimulus bombardment, what would be the result?
We already had some idea. We initially tested the concept at our Baphomet Birthday Bash in October. The contest was at the tail end a long list of activities and was only for $50 cash. The contest abruptly ended after the second contestant handed the host a knife and asked him to carve SWELLCO into his back.
The first official party turned out crushing crowds and shocking results. Human dartboards, sewn-up lips and, uh… ” enema art” were some of the highlights. While there was an air of elation at the party, there was apprehension amongst the staff. This was our first of what was supposed to be an ongoing series. All reoccurring events normally have a build up. But this was our LAUNCH, our starting point. This first party made any organized gonzo sideshow look like a children’s program. All promoters want word to spread, but we soon discovered more apprehension than curiosity regarding the first contest. People we talked to seemed honestly scared to come.
Paid the cost to be boss- the stage after the first Hard Times.
February’s party confirmed our greatest concerns. Contestants came with the express intention of topping the first contest. And they did. By the time the fourth entry in the contest had completed their performance, half the audience had fled in horror and disgust, including the last two contestants. Dirty Diamond was speechless for the first time in his career. The burlesque dancers rightly viewed the stage as a biohazard and literally refused perform a second set. We didn’t blame them. Brown & Black locked themselves in the green room with a bottle of whiskey and waited for the lights to come on.
We had added liability and personal injury waivers for the Video Circus & the Khyber along with our standard model release forms; however, we feel that no amount of paper would dig us out of a criminal negligence charge if we continued to allow contestants to try and top past performances. There was simply nowhere else to go except severe injury and death.
At this stage, we are still waiting on word from our lawyer to see if it is in our best interest to even describe or show what happened. We are waiting to review photos from the event; many of the photographers appear to be reluctant to hand over the physical documentation. We haven’t even viewed the video footage yet, and, in all honesty, the staff is still a little shell-shocked.
Thus goes the monthly dance party that only lasted two months. Hard Times was an event that went from 0 to 150 MPH in two taps of the pedal. But there is a plus side to the end of this short lived event. Swellco & Swellco will continue to throw events highlighting representatives from various performance groups in the region and the contest has has sparked the birth of brand new talent. Shocking and amazing performers like Choke & Shlak, Andros the Autobutcher, and Cookie Cutter the Striptease Queen will all be working as staffers of Swellco & Swellco. Of course, with some (but minimal) limitations placed on them for their own safety. More on this soon.