The Indian Condom Song
My solution to safe sex
The condom market is becoming more competitive these days. Regular latex is not cutting it. Now you can find condoms in many different flavors, lubricants, and degrees of texture. Some even claim to elevate the experience between two partners. Even with the threat of nasty STI’s and unwanted pregnancy it still seems that everybody prefers it the old natural way (and I’m not talking about abstinence).
Condom manufacturers need to develop a condom that will promote more sex. One that has a scent or sends a signal within its packaging that gets people in the mood. I know I wouldn’t only wear that condom all the time I’d pay good money for it, you wouldn’t even need to spend money on marketing campaigns like the Indian Condom Song, the condom would sell itself. It might even benefit the world in other ways. People would be more prone to sleeping with one another, diseases would be reduced as a result of agreeing to safe sex, and there’s a good chance war would go away.
With the money used to develop militaries we can put the best and brightest to work collectively in creating this condom that promotes sex. I can think of how wonderful life would truly be with it. This will solve most mental health problems, at least the ones connected to sexual frustration. And over time it will eventually eradicate many of these costly diseases. I even have a scent for the one I’ll create, I’ll call it: penis. The only downside from this creation will be that people may have so much fun having safe sex the world may actually stop pro-creating.
-Lou Cervantes
