Fucking Shit Up with Kishbaugh & Kohlhofer
We think you know to expect the best.
With the launch of our Hard Times Rock n’ Roll Dance Party and “Talent” Contest this month, we decided to suspend our regular Employee of the Month Contest. We have a whole lot of new staff partnering with us, and it just doesn’t look good to be feeding employees to the hogs in front of the new people. But we still want to highlight the talent who are working to make the 21st a great experience.
Rocks Off
We only work with the best DJ’s, and this is our most important event to date. We needed some fucked-up talent.
So, we turned to Rocks Off, the best DJ night in the City. Every single Sunday, upstairs at the Barbary, the most decadent party in the Philly goes down. We decided we had to sign at least a couple of these guys, and we did. But you ask, who spins this sick shit? Who are Kishbaugh & Kohlhofer?
Daniel Kishbaugh
Daniel Kishbaugh was born in the Languedoc-Roussillon region of Southern France into a family of militant leftist union organizers. He spent his early days selling ecstasy and working in a cheese curd mill to put himself through break-dancing school in Paris. Kishbaugh moved to the U.S. at the age of 16 to work as a personal breakdancer and has busted moves for the amusement of many celebrities, including John Cusack, Tyler Perry and former President Jimmy Carter. He was also briefly employed as a hoe wrangler for the late O.D.B.. Kishbaugh has owned several businesses, including his own break dancing school in Madison, NY, and a kim-chi hot dog cart in Times Square. Always the smooth talker, Kishbaugh has been arrested an amazing 52 times for shoplifting in 36 states, but can proudly boast never having actually gone to jail a single time. He is an avid reader of porn, a knitting enthusiast and binge drinker.
Eric Kohlhofer
The second half of the DJ duo, Eric Kohlhofer, is a well-recognized face and is considered to many to be somewhat of a celebrity in his own right. He worked a 6-year stint as host of the south Jersey public access show, Fuck Your Pants, a platform to promote the male thong. He also made national news over a PCP induced police stand off that resulted after publicly defecating on a kim chi hotdog cart in Time Square. Kohlhofer has also appeared on Judge Joe Brown, Cheaters and The View. (To discuss his pro thong agenda.)
Kohlhofer is also a trained genetic engineer with degrees from Devry & Harvard University and loves to isolate bacteria. He regularly accepts outsourced contracts from Glaxo-Smith Cline, Velveeta and the United States Department of Defense.
His free time is spent mentoring under talented Djs, hiking through North Philly, eating cured meat and wearing male thongs.
Tags: djs, hardtimes, khyber, kishbaugh, kohlhofer, Rocks off
