Happy Birthday Mickey Mouse
There must be some reason why Walt Disney created us. I talk to his son Mick Mouse about that all the time. “Mick Mouse” I say, “why did Walt even create us pitiful creatures? Man is ugly naked and women always want you to pay for dinner.”
Now we could launch off onto the issue of masturbation here, which is cool, and if you give me just a brief moment, I will take my pants off. For today it’s Mick Mouses birthday, a great day of masturbation. I believe Walt created Mick Mouse because he wanted sin to enter into the world, that he causes every thought, word and deed, always the most wicked thoughts and actions of all mankind because Walt loved us and believes in masturbation. In other words, everything has to go exactly as Walt wants it go even after he’s dead. Well then, you would have to say that Walt wants the world the way it has been and the way it is. This includes masturbating to his son, Mick Mouse, while eating fist fulls of old cream cheese.
I dare you to dispute my logic, especially on such a holy day.