Four Loko Me Some Love
They took all the caffeine out of Four Loko and replaced it with cocaine
Let’s talk about it, because I want to know what you all think:
WHO LOVES Four Loko or Joose? Because I do, and all this bullshit talk about banning these drinks really grinds my gears. I remember the day I was getting ready to dance the light away at a club event held in NY, bored out of my mind in the dressing room. I remember thinking to myself, “what usually cures all boredom? Alcohol!” I was determined not to spend $8 on a Budweiser in this angry oontz club; I could buy 40z and chill, instead. Before I had even finished that train of thought, my friend Trish ran up to me screaming, “Yo, you tried the devil’s juice yet?!” WTF, no…
There, in her pale hand, was a Lemonade Four Loko….4 loko??? I was curious and took a sip. The first thing that came to me was “why the hell is this warm…?!” then thinking “it’s still warm…” then, one can later, thinking “why do I feel like doing flips like Christopher Lambert in all of his movies?”
My first experience with Four Loko was strange in itself, but i like to drink them… and 2 is totally pushing it. For 3 bucks a can, who the fuck is going to complain with that?! I’ve seen yuppy rich old guys walking with a Four Loko after work on the LIRR. I’ve seen gangsters just stuntin’ the loko outside the club. I’ve fucking seen the homeless man I have hostage in a bag rock out with a fucking Four Loko in his hand.
Truth is, most alcoholics love it. I heard a story about some dumb college fuck drinking 4 and wondering why they landed in the hospital. They should’ve died. Just because people are retarded and push themselves to the limit, we have to suffer. Assholes are so concerned with the fact that Four Loko’s (and Joose’s) luscious, fruity flavor is making the youngins crazy. Hypocrites! You know when you were 8 and daddy told you to sit on his lap and drink this… and you had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t going to be water… or.. ugh, nevermind. Everyone in this world will get their fix by whatever means is necessary.
The next story I heard was 4 college meatheads beating up and force feeding a gay guy Four Loko. Yet they blame Four Loko for human stupidity.
The name “Four” is derived from the drink’s four main ingredients: alcohol, caffeine, taurine, and guarana. It also contains carbonated water, sugar, and natural and artificial flavoring. Four debuted in the United States market in 2005. It is now sold in 46 states and in Europe. Four energy drinks have been the object of legal, ethical, and health concerns related to their being marketed to college students. On November 17, 2010, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration declared that beverages such as Four energy drinks that combine caffeine with alcohol are a “public health concern” and can’t stay on the market in their current form. As a result, Phusion Projects has announced that it will remove caffeine, taurine, and guarana from its products.” (courtesy of Wikipedia)
I know I didn’t really need to share with the world my love of Four Loko and Joose. Actually, where I live, the next door deli has both… green apple is my favorite.
What are your thoughts about this banning crap? Because, even if they do, all the people who have stocked up, all the little bodegas who will make money from STILL selling them, will just keep one more gay guy or a shit ton of college fucks in the hospital. And come on… isn’t that awesome?