James Jay Lee Was Right… Kinda
CIVILIZATION EXPOSED FOR THE FILTH IT IS
Here at Death by Party, we have unlimited access to breaking news stories. Though we rarely comment on them, this one is different. Although we disagree with his methods, we would like to take a moment to commend James Jay Lee for not being afraid to tell the Discovery Channel how it really is, and how it should really be done. Below is a list of the office-approved excerpts from his list of demands.
#1 “Stop Giving Birth to Filthy Human Children”
“Programs encouraging human sterilization and and infertility must be pushed. The false heroics behind child-rearing must be exposed and problem of human overpopulation must be dealt with.” Preferably on air, and “in game show contest format”. No, seriously.
#2 “Civilization Must Be Exposed For The Filth It Is”
“The planet must be reversed and the human population must go down! Humans? The world does not need humans. SURELY YOU MUST KNOW THIS!”
#3 “Get the Hell off the Planet; Breathe Oil!”
Because what else are you going to breathe? It’s delicious, the colors are pretty and it gets you high as shit.
#4 “Money is Just Trash!”
Agreed. However, that trashy money can also be used for fun, trashy things.
#5 “Develop Shows That Will Dismantle the Dangerous US Economy”
We agree; hopefully they’re also in game show format. That way the gravity of the subject matter really sinks in.
#6 “Children Represent Future Catastrophic Pollution”
“Even one child born in the US will use 30 to 1000 times more resources than a Third World child. It’s like a couple is having 30 babies even though it’s just one!” Think about how much cheaper child slave labor would be if every couple really did have 30 babies, though. It just goes to show how cheap the Third World child slaves are really going for these days.
#7 “Saving the Remaining Species of the Planet is Now Your Mindset”
His approach is solid: “THIS IS NOW YOUR MINDSET.” However one must ask, what did Lee want to save, if anything? According to his demands, “nothing is more important than saving the Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, ‘Froggies,’ Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, THE SQUIRRELS.” Of course. No sane person would argue against the squirrels.
Good work, Lee. Had you survived this valiant stand-off, you may have had a position waiting for you here at Swellco & Swellco. You’ll be on our minds. Sort of.
R.I.P. James J. Lee, avid atheist, fan of “Spanish music,” and devotee of Star Trek.
Photos courtesy of http://getting-up.tumblr.com