Here I am all whiskey stinkin’ feeling extra dirty like I ate too much corn. I put a whole stick of butter in my ass crack. Not lubing anything, just like the way it makes me slide. Got maple syrup on my nipples because thinking about a great fuck makes me hungry. (Really hungry for corn.) So I’m ready to get my self love fuck on. I turn on my browser because the web, the world wide web is really a giant jerk and tug fuck machine. We are living in the future, this is the space age and all roads lead to pussy. Pussy and tasty roasted corn. I click on a picture of Regan Reese. The thick wiry hairs on my balls stand on end and the monster’s cock starts to grow. Now it’s time for more whiskey. Whiskey and corn.
Regan’s site is right here.
-Uncle Wheat Toast